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Loophole Jokes

A really annoying loophole

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and...

Did you hear about the lawyer who was prosecuted for having a loophole fetish?

He got off on a technicality.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A interesting genie loophole

Genie: you have three wishes.

Me: I wish for more-

Genie: no wishing for more wishes!

Me: I wish for more *genies*.

Genie: holy shit.

All the new genies: holy shit.

Found a loophole in veganism

Eating meat from an animal that was in a coma is perfectly vegan because the animal is technically a vegetable.

There are some loopholes with masks.

They go around your ears.

I HAVE FOUND A MASSIVE LOOPHOLE IN AVENGERS: ENDGAME

How are HE and BW able to receive the soulstone when a soul must traded for it?

Since you know.... BW is a ginger and all :)

Lawyers and Loopholes

To all my Advocate Friends
Two well dressed lawyers went to an expensive restaurant...

Ordered 2 drinks
and then got sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat them...
Waitress: Sorry Sir !!! But you can't eat your OWN food here... Its against the rules ...

The lawyer...

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Deaf guy finds a loophole to get jerked off when his wife isn't in the mood

An old deaf couple was sitting on their couch when the wife wrote, "Honey, if you want to have sex, squeeze my left boob once. If you don't want to, squeeze my right boob twice."



The husband wrote back, "If you want to have sex, grab my dick once. If you don't, grab it a 150 times."

A lawyer gets diagnosed with a terminal Illness.

On his deathbed, he asks for a Bible. The hospital staff thinks he has become religious now that his end is near. The doctor notices him going through every line carefully with a grave expression, so he asks, "what are you doing?". The lawyer looks up and replies dryly, "looking for a loophole."

A corrupt politician manages to sneak a number of loopholes in to a new law that gave him ownership of several hotels in Seville and Valencia

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn decision

A 15 year old boy with long hair wants a car when he turns 16

His grandmother is very rich, and tells him she will buy him a car on one condition: he cuts his hair. The boy is upset, as he loves having a full head of long hair.

He thinks of a loophole for days, and finally comes up with one. His grandmother is a deeply religious woman.

He comes...

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Girls: Anal sex does not preserve your virginity.

Your poophole is not a loophole.

A lawyer is dieing in hospital and his family visits him...

...and find him sitting in bed, reading the Bible.
"Ah" said his daughter "You're getting spiritual comfort"
"No", said the lawyer, "I'm looking for loopholes"

Three men were stranded on a desert island

They had been there for many years and had become good friends. One day a lamp washed up on shore and out popped a genie. The genie looked at them and decided to grant each of them one wish.

Without hesitation, the first man practically screamed; "I wish I was back home with my family!". Po...

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God's punishment

God gave women labor pains and monthly bleeding as the punishment for the original sin. Men's punishment is to be with his wife and listen to her problems. That's why god hates homosexuals. They found a loophole in this system.

Joe was walking around town when he found a magic lamp.

As usual, on rubbing it, a genie appeared.

Genie: "I'll grant you two wishes but no loopholes."

Joe: "Make me rich."

Genie: "Done! Your next wish?"

Rich: "Ok, give me 10 billion dollars."

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed..

... in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible.

Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.
As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his...

I should've known better than to sign a contract that was written on the side of a cereal box.

Turns out the thing was filled with loopholes

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A man walks into a bar he's never visited before, and settles down to order a drink.

Before long, he notices someone sitting in the corner - a man who appears normal in every regard except that his head is a gigantic orange. Curious, the newcomer asks the bartender "What's up with the guy in the corner? The one with the-" but the bartender interrupts and says "Honestly, your best be...

Four dads are arguing, each dad claims to have the best son in the world.

The first dad says, "My son is the best because he is so rich, I only gave him a small loan of a million dollars and he ended up making four billion dollars from his multi-billion dollar hotel business. He has even appeared on many TV shows. He is so successful that he was elected to lead a country....

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