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It was the first night for a newlywed couple. The bride was still a virgin because she heard how much sex can hurt if a man has a large dick.

To make his bride feel at ease, the groom said to her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid of".

So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, ...

When is a door not a door?

When it's Ajar

I tried to catch a bunch of fireflies last night but they escaped the container

It was ajar

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Little johnny wakes up one night hearing noises from his parents bedroom

He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She imme...

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A young man walks out of a bar with a girl he just pulled.

"Let's go back to your joint..." he says, "my house mates are home and we'll get no peace there."

Reluctantly the girl agrees. They walk back to her house and quietly enter through the front door.

"Take a seat" says the girl, pointing to the sofa, "I'm just going to get changed out of...

Why did the jar not need to be opened?

Because it was already ajar.

The Cuckoo Clock Mayhem

I was invited for dinner with my old friends.

I swore to my wife that I'd be back at midnight. She didn't believe me, but I still went there.

The meal was very tasty, time flied, my blood was already scarce compared to all of the alcohol and I was extremely drunk. At about 3 AM, I went...

What do you call a container that's slightly open?

Ajar.

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NSFW - The Queen is touring a prestigious hospital...

They come to the special care wing and she is utterly disgusted when she sees a nurse giving a male patient a hand job.

"What is the meaning of this?!" she screams.

"Don't fret, your Majesty. This man has a rare condition that requires him to ejaculate once every hour or he will go int...

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A man dies and goes to Hell.

In Hell, a demon welcomes him:

-Hey man, welcome to Hell, we got a pretty easy system here, we have three doors and you have to choose one room to spend eternity.

-Sounds good, says the man.

They approach the three doors on a hallway, the demon half opens one and tell the man ...

There's this guy with OCD who likes to collect containers.

Unfortunately for him, they're always ajar.

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A wizard came to my house once.

He started turning my tables to jars, chairs to jars, plates to jars and everything to jars.

What really pissed me off was when he left the door ajar.

You spend your whole life thinking your fridge is a fridge...

...and one day you walk in to the kitchen and your fridge is ajar!

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Two Friends were out drinking in a bar for their weekly drinking session.

Their names are Brad and Josh. They have been drinking at the same bar on the same day of the week every single week for 4 years now and the bartenders usually just close the bar and leave the doors unlocked for them to leave when they want to.

Brad lives in a bungalow just across the street ...

A man off the boat from China is looking for a job.

A local business man decides to hire him.

He tells the immigrant,

“I will have help out my store with supplies.”

In which he responds in broken English,

“Thank you mista thank you!”

After he shows him around the store, the business goes out for the rest of the day...

On the snowy mountains of eastern Asia, there live a secluded group of monks

Bi-weekly the head monk teaches a class of young monks the way of their order. One particular class began with the head monk explaining that while the world is full of hidden meaning, objects are nothing but themselves, and thus meaningless. The head monk said 'you see children, this vase I hold is ...

A father and his son are preparing to go out for a drive

They get in the car, but the father leaves his door open. After a couple seconds of sitting expectantly, the son asks, "Dad, why is your door ajar?"

"It's not," replies the dad. "It's still a door."

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.


Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and woul...

When is a door not a door?

When its ajar


When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway.

Credit to my boss but I'm sure he stole them too.

How to drive your wife wild in the bedroom.

Leave all of the dresser drawers slightly ajar with a little piece of clothing sticking out.

Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar?

Because the door was ajar!

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Tiger Fucking

Q: What's black and white and read all over?

Delivery Note (DN), mention "I bet you know this one"

A: A newspaper.

 

Q: When is a door not a door?

DN: wait for the person to really think about it, and get it or say they give up.

A: When its ...

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The priest wants to check how the freshly married couple is doing

Approaching their door, he not only finds it unlocked, but slightly ajar, too.

Worrying for their wellbeing , he says his prayers and enters.

As he walks into the living room he finds the husband, lying on the hearthrug, naked, his back facing the clergyman.

'Are you back my ang...

Why we cremate people:

Some people get creamted because when you die, your family is gonna want to put you in a casket for the funeral. And if they can't decide whether to choose open or closed, they compromise... and put you in ajar.

Tell me your best "When is a --- not a ---?" joke

I'll start you off:

When is a door not a door?

> When it's ajar!

When are eyes not eyes?

> When the wind makes them water!

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