Ommmmm....I predict in the Middle East, there'll be one country and The Persian Gulf

Just Kuwait and sea

Today in the Gulf Stream, two dolphins were caught cheating on their significant others, and in the East Australian, a humpback whale gave the term new meaning when he was found in the fins of another beluga.

I like to stay on top of current affairs.

During the Gulf War, a soldier has just arrived in Iraq

Two days after being deployed, he gets asked by his best mate back at home to the mate's best man at his wedding. The soldier quickly agrees, and go to ask his commanding officer for leave.

"Leave? After only two days? You must be mad, to even consider asking me for it. You won't get leave un...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

During the Gulf war, U.S. President George Bush was getting his daily intelligence briefing...

The briefer said "I'm sorry to report that a Brazilian was killed in Iraq today." President Bush said I'm sorry to hear that. As the next briefer entered the room, the president whispered to his Chief of Staff, "How many is a Brazilian anyway?"

Why didn't Texas drift into the gulf coast?

Because Oklahoma sucks.

After spending 90 days in the Persian Gulf, a sailor goes to complain to his master chief.

"Chief, I joined the Navy to see the world." The master chief replies, "Sailor, the Earth is 75 percent water. The navy showed you that, if you want to see the other 25 percent, join the army."

What do you call it when your wife/gf is mad as hell and won't let you get a word in?

A HER-icane.

(my apologies to our gulf coast friends. take care.)

They ask a white supremacist if we should change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of US . . .

He replies: I don't care, as long as it's Not Sea ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher gave her class

of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three old men are sitting around in a convalescent home,

And the first man pipes up:

“I wish I could have just one good easy piss. I’ve had enough with this dribbling, and trying to get it out, always waiting and waiting and waiting.”

The second man chimes in:

“I wish I could have one just one easy poop. It either comes out runny and ...

What do you call the worlds most famous oil painting?

The Gulf Of Mexico.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.

The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raises her hand.

"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.

Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all th...

There was a guy named Juan

Juan was a normal person working at a restaurant serving people. One day someone asked for Juan to go for governor.

Juan had nothing going on in his life so he went for it. Juan ran for governor and got the job. But the same guy came in and asked for Juan to go be president.

So Juan ra...

One American Soldier

My apologies if this has been told here already (I haven't found it yet). A military buddy of mine told me this when he got back home:



One day during the Gulf War, an Iraqi general and his army were patrolling through semi-mountainous terrain. Suddenly, over one of the hills they hear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently sailed around the world on one of those “once in a lifetime” cruises.

The cruise was scheduled to take 6 months, visit all 7 continents, and make port calls in over 30 different cities. I was very excited and could not wait.

The cruise began with several uneventful stops along the gulf off Mexico and down the Eastern side of South America. As we neared the sout...

Credit to /u/Poem_for_your_sprog

He sat and sighed beside the road -

His engine's gasket blown.

His car was old and cold and towed.

The man was left alone.

-

'I need to find a place to stay

Until it's fixed,' he spoke -

But as he rose to walk away

Arrived a band of folk.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Small Skulled Boss (nsfw)

So, I'd been working at my company for a while (I won't say which one, but you probably have used their product today). Yesterday, the CEO of the company came into our department and had a sit down with me. When I first met him, the first thing I noticed was the size of his head. It was the size ...

So I wrote some Chuck Norris jokes the other day...

The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't speak, he thinks loudly.

New Orleans didn't flood because of a hurricane. Chuck Norris did a canon ball into the Gulf of Mexico.

Chuck Norris once punched the Tower of Pisa.

Chuck Norris doesn't fart, beca...

Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?

A rake

What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?

A comb

What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?...

Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water.

Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lil' Arty

After being married to a total bitch for nearly 35 years, Steve decided enough was enough. He knew that she would never grant him a divorce, being the bitch she was, so Steve decided to take matters into his own hands put an end to his wife, Permanently! Of course, Steve didn’t want the blame placed...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.