I went for a job interview and the asked me to state my biggest weakness in three words

'Not very good at maths' I replied

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What's the first thing you do after sex?

Continue the autopsy whilst reminding myself that one moment of weakness doesn't make me a bad vet.

Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

Me: "I never know when to quit"

Interviewer: "That's ok, you're hired"

Me: "I quit"

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Why old men don’t get hired…

Interviewer: Tell me your greatest weakness.

Old man: my honesty.

Interviewer: I don’t think honesty is a weakness.

Old man: I don’t give a fuck what you think.

What is Superman new weakness in 2020

Kryptokurrency

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I went for a job interview last week

The guy asked me what my biggest weakness is. I said I'm too honest.

He said "I don't think that's a weakness"

I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"

Three men die and go to heaven…

St Peter to 1st man: Have you ever cheated on your wife?

1st man: Certainly not! I loved my wife and was never unfaithful!”

St Peter to 1st man: Excellent, you get a Cadillac to drive around for all of eternity.

St Peter to 2nd man: Have you ever cheated on your wife?

2...

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

A man walks into an interview

Interviewer: what are your strengths?

Man: I fall in love easily

Interviewer: okay… what are your weaknesses?

Man: That beautiful blue of your eyes

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness?

Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics

Interviewer: Could you give me an example?

Me: Yes I could

My roommate always complains about two of my weaknesses.

One was : 'You always get distracted sooooo easily!'

And the other one was the fact that there's a cute little spider on the ceiling.

The pope wakes up one Sunday morning…

As he goes into the bathroom, he can’t help but notice that he is sporting some rather impressive morning wood. Recognizing the fact that he can’t conduct services in his condition, he decides to “rough up the alter boy”.

After returning to his home after giving an excellent sermon, he find...

Interviewer: what’s your greatest weakness?

**Me:** I use bad words

**Interviewer: *[laughing]*:** that’s okay, we’re pretty tolerant around here

**Me:** well that’s extrusively harbilary to hear

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Being Kind Is A Weakness!

I have a very good friend. We've been friends for a long long time. His name is Bill.

So, Bill had insomnia. He hasn't slept for days. He asked me to buy some sleeping pills for him and bring them to his house. Upon reaching his house, I saw him sleeping on his bed.

So, I woke him up ...

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Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty."

"I don't think honesty is a weakness."

"I don't give a fuck what you think."

Source: [Jorgen Sundberg](https://twitter.com/JorgenSundberg/status/304345440017596418)

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An army sergeant lines up his men for their final ultimate test of patriotism

Sergeant: "Men! Do you love your wives?!"

Men: "Sir yes sir!"

Sergeant: "Do you love your country even more?!"

Men: "Sir yes sir!"

Sergeant: "Would you sacrifice anything for your country?!"

Men: "Sir yes sir!!!"

Sergeant: "Right men. In each of those huts o...

I have a weakness for casual fast food....

That's why I keep a condiment in my wallet.

Me: My biggest weakness? Hmm..Let me think...I guess some people say I’m delusional.

Cab driver: I didn’t say anything.

What is an amputee kickboxer's greatest weakness

His inability to walk away from a fight

Father Patrick had one weakness as a priest

He *hated* the English. His favorite fire and brimstone line was "...and you'd go to Hell with the English!" He had been admonished by his Bishop more than once about this.

Well, the Bishop was visiting for Holy Week when Father Patrick again assigned the English to the nether regions, and he...

A priest has a moment of weakness. He decides to go to a brothel.

Being a faithful servant of the lord until recently, he's overwhelmed. He sees one lady named destiny and immediately falls in love.

She's repulsed by him though, they just did not mesh.

The father leaves and returns the next day with flowers but destiny still will not have anything t...

What’s a male musician’s biggest weakness?

D and Bs

What is America's only weakness?

Aeroplanes.

If I went on countdown, I'd only have 3 weaknesses

A. The numbers
C. The letters

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This is as good a day as any to post this old one...

An older catholic priest is sweeping up between the pews after mass when a very attractive scantily clad young woman rushes into the church. She is visibly upset as she runs up to the priest, holding her face in her hands and sobbing.

Although the priest noticed her ample physique and skim...

Employeer: So what's your greatest weakness?

Me: I always celebrate prematurely.

Interviewer: So what are your strengths and weaknesses. Me: I have a decent sense of humor but my General Knowledge is not so good.

Interviewer: Ok, then tell us a joke.

Me: Knock Knock.

Interviewer: Who?

Me: 2nd US President.

Interviewer: 2nd US President who?

Me: Like I said, my General knowledge isn't good.

A man is asked where he sees himself in 5 years while at a job interview

He replies his greatest weaknesses is listening

Interviewer: What would u say is your biggest weakness?

Me: I get weirdly confrontational when people ask me follow-up questions

Interviewer: How so?

Me: \[ripping my shirt off\] do u wanna take this outside?!!!

What is a vampire's weakness?

Hepatitis B

Time of weakness

Rosy had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.
Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Robert, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.
He picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic.
Robert had also bee...

Interviewer: So what would you say is your greatest weakness?

Guy: I'd have to say my honesty

Interviewer: Well that doesn't sound like a weakness

Guy: Honestly, I don't care what you think

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At a job interview, the boss asked me, "What is your greatest weakness?"

I glanced down at my wheelchair and said, "Surely you must be joking."

"Not at all," he replied.

"Alright then- underage fanny."

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Me: I can type 150 words per minute.

Interviewer: Wow! And what are your weaknesses?

Me: Every word is 'a'.

Enter job interview . Interviewer asks infamous question "what is your greatest weakness in the workplace?" Pause for 10 to 15 seconds then say "I'm bad with awkward silences "

If the don't laugh then pause again and say "sometimes my jokes aren't well received " problem solved

A hero named "Super Cal" suffers from a slight weakness that curses his own body. However, he does have a certain strength. It's, unfortunately, his bad breath that makes him fairly unattractive.

So, basically..."Super Cal is fragile-ish except for Halitosis"

-Mr. Johnson this looks great. Your educational is just spot on. You have decent career for this job. And you values seem to alike with our corporation. Lastly i wanna ask, what are some of you weaknesses?

-I am hard boiled liar.

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