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Guy is the sole survivor of a shipwreck, and washes up on a desert island.

The only thing to eat are coconuts, from a single coconut tree on the other side of the island. However, there's a dog guarding the tree, and every time the guy climbs the tree to get a one, the dog bites him on the ass.

For ten months, the guy has to deal with the dog, whenever he wants to ...

A sole and a flounder are swimming in the ocean when they bump into each other. The sole says, "A flounder!"

The flounder, to be polite, says nothing.

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Military is cutting staff (repost most likely)

The military is cutting staff and decide to get rid of three generals. One from the Army, the Airforce, and the Marines.

All of them are old, grizzled men who had seen their fair share of war, so the Pentagon comes up with a unique bonus system for their service. They can choose two points ...

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I'm surprised there isn't more religious panic about foot fetishists.

After all, they are cumming for our soles.

What did the Grim Reaper say when he walked into a shoe shop?

I've come for your soles!

Napoleon may not have been the sole designer of his jacket...

but, I believe he had a hand in it.

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A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe.

Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe...

I went to Bill Hayleys fish shop last night

They do Hake, Haddock and Sole

Juliane Koepcke was the sole survivor, when her plane crashed in the amazon

Guess they should have made the whole plane out of her

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It's too bad Coronavirus isn't solely transmitted sexually

Most of Reddit would be immune

I have a friend who was obsessed with the moon.

Lunar cycles, werewolf lore, eclipse dates, he knew all about them and then some. The really strange part was he focused solely on the moon in this way, no other part of space.

Made him easy to shop for though. Werewolf movies, moon pies, he'd love them just for being tangentially connected t...

Finally found my sole mate

bought a girlfriend for my flounder

The Court has decided Elon Musk will be Granted Sole Custody of Child X Æ A-12 After Divorce from Wife Grimes

Since he filed for and was awarded the patent back in March of 2019

The Seagull and The Octopus

There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...

I can't stand to see both soles of my feet.

I just can't.

There's a name for people who judge others solely on how they look

Opticians!

What do you call a country, comprised solely of female deer, giving money to charity?

A doe nation donation.

McDonalds is test marketing a NEW beef patty made solely from the lips of Cows...

The McJagger

Why don't foot fetishists like redheads?

Because they don't have soles.





^(My bf told me to put this here.)

Smugglers have began hiding drugs in the soles of their shoes. You shouldn't trust them

They're probably laced

Beware of Lil Nas X's Satan Shoes.

The devil might steal your sole.

I knew a chemist who survived solely on oxygen and potassium.

When I asked him what he felt like, he said OK.

The legend of the three kingdoms

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake.For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lke.One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires.

The ni...

A bunch of insects are having a formal get together and decide to invite a simple drone worker whose sole function is to carry whatever the queen wants back to the colony...

Becoming all excited at the prospect of doing something different he decides to dress himself in the best suit there is but he cannot seem to complete the look with a half-windsor knot.

Such a complicated task required more skilled mandibles so he goes over to his boss but suddenly gets crush...

Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?

10,000 soles were lost!
Police say some heels started it!

I just quit my job working in a shoe factory

It was sole destroying

The guy who invented the alarm clock is my idol.

He’s the sole reason I wake up every day.

I seriously hope this hasn’t been done before.

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My wife says if we get 1000 upvotes we can have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation

2000 and she'll let me do it with the lights on

"sole"-destroying shoe

"I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."

I just got the worst cramp i've ever had in my foot.

It hurt so damn bad i felt it in my sole

First game using solely IPv6 for multiplayer

Half-Life 3

My feet were killing me yesterday. I bought some in-soles thinking they'd probably do nothing to help.

Today I stand corrected.

Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory. (Original, I think)

Police have identified a sole perpetrator.

I believe god created the earth solely to amuse himself.

I am a Recreationist.

What do you call a red-head playing the piano by themselves in worn out shoes?

A soulless sole-less soloist.

Sole Survivor

A rescue team arrives at the site of a crashed airplane to find only a single survivor. The rather haggard-looking man is found while chewing on a bone, with a rather large pile of human bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked.

"You can't judge me for this," the man says defensively. "I ...

Found this, i think you might enjoy, source in comments

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may c...

If Ursula turned the Little Mermaid into a piece of clothing, what would Ariel become?

A shoe, complete with a poor, unfortunate sole!

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My sole task as an elevator boy is pushing buttons.

It’s just depressing.

Why did the heavy boots go to Heaven?

Because they had good soles.

Google knows!

Subject: Today's Reality


CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?


GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a ...

The shoe factory burned down today. Sadly, there were no survivors.

Rest In Peace all those poor soles.

Thanos should’ve thrown his shoe off the cliff on Vormir

A sole for a soul

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I saw five cockroaches marching across my basement floor today

I grabbed my shoe and started hitting them with the sole. I killed four, but one escaped and hid.

It was the sole survivor.

What do you call a guy that overeats for the sole purpose of getting stomachaches?

A glutton for punishment.

What do you call a one-man shoe store?

A sole proprietorship.

Whenever I get a sock from the laundry without the other sock, I keep this sock in the hopes of finding the partner in the future.

I call these socks lost soles.

Did you hear about the foot that got ran over?

God rest his sole

What did they say about the couple who had the same shoe size?

They were sole mates

The ending is massive.

A shoe factory specializing in intelligent shoes contacted me, and asked me whether I wanted to try their new smart shoes.

It was free of charge, so I accepted the offer.

First, I asked the shoes to take me to the best burger place in town. And indeed, the shoes walked me right into th...

I once dated a co-worker at a shoe store.

It didn't end up working out. Guess we weren't sole-mates after all.

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A horse walks into a bar...

"Why the long face?" asks the bartender...
The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City."

I've been feeling down, so I bought some new socks

Cause you know what they say:

A hat warms the head

A coat warms the body

But socks warm the sole.

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Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

Why did the Satanic cults’ feet hurt?

They sold their soles to the devil.

A girl won't date me because she'd be taller than me when she wears heels

It's her sole reason.

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman argued about Adam's nationality.

The Frenchman said, "Of course Adam was French. Look how passionately he made love to Eve!"

The Englishman said, "Of course Adam was British. Look how he gave his only apple to the lady, like a real gentleman."...

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Italian, Frenchman and a Redneck...

An Italian, Frenchman and redneck were comparing lovemaking skills. The Italian says, ‘When I’ve a finished a makina da love withah my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy.

The Frenchman replies. "zat is noting, when Ah’ve fini...

Jesus should have been a shoemaker

After all, he did save our soles.

What's it called when you marry a shoemaker?

Marrying your sole-mate

I was once in a group project with a girl who did nothing but send feet pics

That was her sole contribution

in the wake of the pandemic and failing ratings, AMC's The Walking Dead has changed it's format.

it will now be a reality show shot solely inside America's nursing homes.

Shoe Store

When I was young my parents started up a shoe store, which wasn’t overly successful but they made ends meet. Due to various economic pressures they had to outsource labour overseas to China. My father, Bob, could speak Mandarin so always conversed with the manager of the production plant in their na...

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A man with three prosthetic limbs walks into a bar.

The bartender asks: “what happened to your arms and your leg?”

The man replied: “Last week I was in an accident and lost my right arm, 3 days ago another accident caused me to lose my right leg, and yesterday I get into another accident and lose my left arm. So either I’m literally falling ap...

What is someone with a foot fetish's favourite genre of music?

Sole

My local coastline has been so overfished that during 30 minutes of snorkeling I saw only a single fish.

It was the sole survivor.

A fortune teller sat in his tower, practicing seeing into the future.

Instead of using tarot cards or a crystal ball to read the future, he used fine cloth he imported from the East. One day, as he was peering into the future, a strong guest of wind blew through his open window, carrying the cloth straight out the other one. With it being his sole future-seeing cloth,...

You know what's easy to make? Shoe jokes.

Too bad they have no sole. They just seem to cobbled together. I'd like to boot anyone making shoe jokes from my life.


I assume you guys didn't get a kick out of that string of jokes, so I'll just sneak away.

Dear Reddit, I met this girl in a shoe store.

I think we might be sole mates.

its always safe to tell shoes your secrets

thats because they would never tell a sole

A man is walking in a storm, alone and lost. He then comes upon a Monastery.

Having no place to go, the poor man approaches the wooden desolate door of the old Monastery and knocks upon the door. The door opens to a rather withered old Monk, who greets the man. “I am the Head Monk of this monastery. Can I help you?” The man asks for refuge overnight and is taken up into the ...

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Did I ever tell you about my friend who bought experimental AI shoes?

He always stayed out late drinking and partying and most mornings he woke up god knows where, no wallet or phone, completely lost and stranded.

One day he met a man at a bar, they got talking and the man told him about these new shoes his company was developing; no matter how out of it you we...

Very long.

First off, let me describe to you a little creature.

There lives in the forest a little guy known as a 'Twid'. A Twid resembles nothing so much as a Smurf on psychedelics. They have punked out hair, multi-colored skin, tattoos and piercings. Also, the sole reason for a Twid's existence on th...

I used to feel guilty about getting rid of old shoes until I realised they were going to a better place.

It turns out that shoes have soles.

At a testimonial dinner in his honor

A wealthy businessman gave an emotional speech. "When I came to this city fifty years ago," he said, "I had no car, my only suit was on my back, the soles of my shoes were thin, and I carried all my possessions in a paper bag." After dinner, a young man nervously approached. "Sir, I really admire al...

What happens when a shoe dies?

It's sole goes to heaven

A guy, a pig, and a dog were the only survivors of a terrible shipwreck.

They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there for a few weeks, they got into a ritual of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, and the breeze was warm and gentle. It was a perfect...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman...

An Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman are trekking through the jungle together. They’re hacking down trees, killing leopards, and generally doing manly things.

All of a sudden, they are confronted by a group of natives, who grab the trio and drag them to their little village and tie them to s...

I just don’t know how shoe companies stay in business

Although, it probably helps being the sole supplier

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A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket.

But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the buttons. Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons, and shoe soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of his shirt and the pocket from his pants an...

What's the saddest type of fish and chips?

a battered sole.

I have no friend but I love my shoes

They're my sole companions.

Due to the recent relaxation of laws in Saudi Arabia,

a new chain of fast food restaurants are opening up which are run solely by women.

It's called Burka King.

Why do gingers buy so many shoes?

It's the only legal way to acquire soles.

I walked into an old defunct Nike store today. The place was depressing because-

there wasn't a sole in sight.

I find washing my feet to be a very religious process.

It's truly sole cleansing

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