UPJOKE
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What's the difference between George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, and Jane Fonda?

Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

Rush Limbaugh: “I have lung cancer.”

Everyone under 50: “OK tumor”

The phone rings and Rush Limbaugh’s wife answers it...

The caller asks, “Is Rush Limbaugh there?” Limbaugh’s wife answers quietly, “Rush Limbaugh is dead.” The caller hangs up.

Two days later the phone rings again, Limbaugh’s wife answers, and a familiar voice asks, “Is Rush Limbaugh there?” Limbaugh’s wife is silent for a moment and then says, “...

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What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

One's an overblown Nazi gasbag and the other's a dirigible.

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What’s 15 inches long and dangles in front of an massive asshole?

Rush Limbaughs tie

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What you got there, boy?

A boy is walking down a country lane, past an old codger's house, carrying a roll of chicken wire.


"What you got there, boy?" asks the old man.


"Well, sir. This here's chicken wire so I'm gonna go git me some chickens", replies the youth.


"Pshaw! You're crazy son", ...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

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Three buddies from high school take a trip to Mexico...

Each of the men has spent their lives productively, and are each at the top of their respective fields, and they've kept in touch over the years. They decide that, to celebrate their twentieth high school graduation anniversary, they're going to go down to Mexico City together and generally live it ...

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