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Lapped Jokes

I was out mowing my lawn...

I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.

The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.

I tried catch it, but it wen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The beer was spilt on the barroom floor,

And the bar was closed for the night...

And out of his hole, crawled a little brown mouse,

Who made a funny sight..

He lapped up that beer, on the barroom floor,

And back on his haunches he sat...

And all through the night you could hear him yell,

"Bring on ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Leisurely drive

I was out driving the other day when all of a sudden, a guy shot past me. I shook my head and chuckled to myself "you won't get there any faster mate" when an angry voice on the radio interrupted me: "put your foot down dickhead that's the second time he's lapped you now!"

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