Keller Jokes - 42 Hilarious Keller Jokes

A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller.

Because she's dead.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as...

"The most violent book I have ever read"

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other one!

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Cordaroy

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Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,

She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama

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Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream?

She was wearing mittens.

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What's Hellen Keller immune to?

Flashbangs

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How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips?

She was trying to read the waffle iron.

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Helen Keller's Favorite Joke

What do you call two blind people playing tennis?

Eternal love.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar.

And then a table, and then a stool.

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What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word?

She washed her hands with soap

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she

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What is the worst thing that you could say to Helen Keller?

Look at me while I’m talking to you!

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Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

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When Hellen Keller was alive, she abstained from sex…

She couldn’t see herself doing something like that.

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What did Helen Keller call a hand job?

Oral sex.

Why did Helen Keller not get the joke about the fishes ?

Because she didn't have aqueous humour

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

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Helen Keller

I ask my wife, "Why can't Helen Keller drive?"

She replies immediately, "Duh, because she's blind and deaf."

"No, it's because she's dead."

(Please comment your best Helen Keller jokes!)

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What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

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Did you hear Hellen Kellers birthday was two days ago…

She didn’t hear either

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The new book about Helen Keller is absolutely incredible!

The audio book is absolutely unintelligible though.

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I Won't Allow Anyone to Insult Helen Keller's Accomplishments.

If you say she only became famous due to blind luck, your claim shall fall on deaf ears.

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How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They rearrange the furniture.

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(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?

Senseless violence.

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How do you punish Helen Keller?

Put her in a circular room and tell her there’s a penny in the corner.

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Hellen Keller had her own language

Its called bumping into things

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Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

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Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house?

She didn't either.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity

Granny forgot to remove the plunger.

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Hellen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson, Hellen Keller never heard the bell

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What’s worse than raping Helen Keller

Breaking her fingers so she can’t tell anybody.

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Why couldn’t Hellen Keller see Pirates of the Caribbean in theatres?

Because she’s dead

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Guys please stop making jokes about Helen Keller.

They’re just plain senseless.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book

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Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller?

... give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

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Why did Helen Keller fire her housekeeper?

She left the plunger in the toilet.

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Why didn't Helen Keller go sky diving?

It scared the hell out of her Seeing Eye dog.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Helen Keller’s belly button hurt?

Her boyfriend was blind too.

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