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Keller Jokes

A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller.

Because she's dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as...

"The most violent book I have ever read"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other one!

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Cordaroy

Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,

She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama

Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream?

She was wearing mittens.

What's Hellen Keller immune to?

Flashbangs

How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips?

She was trying to read the waffle iron.

Helen Keller's Favorite Joke

What do you call two blind people playing tennis?

Eternal love.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar.

And then a table, and then a stool.

What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word?

She washed her hands with soap

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she

What is the worst thing that you could say to Helen Keller?

Look at me while I’m talking to you!

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Hellen Keller was alive, she abstained from sex…

She couldn’t see herself doing something like that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Helen Keller call a hand job?

Oral sex.

Why did Helen Keller not get the joke about the fishes ?

Because she didn't have aqueous humour

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

Helen Keller

I ask my wife, "Why can't Helen Keller drive?"

She replies immediately, "Duh, because she's blind and deaf."

"No, it's because she's dead."



(Please comment your best Helen Keller jokes!)

What was the first thing Hellen Keller noticed at the beach?

The volleyball net.

Did you hear Hellen Kellers birthday was two days ago…

She didn’t hear either

The new book about Helen Keller is absolutely incredible!

The audio book is absolutely unintelligible though.

I Won't Allow Anyone to Insult Helen Keller's Accomplishments.

If you say she only became famous due to blind luck, your claim shall fall on deaf ears.

How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They rearrange the furniture.

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?

Senseless violence.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

Put her in a circular room and tell her there’s a penny in the corner.

Hellen Keller had her own language

Its called bumping into things

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house?

She didn't either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity

Granny forgot to remove the plunger.

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Hellen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson, Hellen Keller never heard the bell

What’s worse than raping Helen Keller

Breaking her fingers so she can’t tell anybody.

Why couldn’t Hellen Keller see Pirates of the Caribbean in theatres?

Because she’s dead

Guys please stop making jokes about Helen Keller.

They’re just plain senseless.

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?

They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

How do you confuse Helen Keller?

... give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

Why did Helen Keller fire her housekeeper?

She left the plunger in the toilet.

Why didn't Helen Keller go sky diving?

It scared the hell out of her Seeing Eye dog.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Helen Keller’s belly button hurt?

Her boyfriend was blind too.

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