A prisoner called Andrea wants to prove her strength...

So she starts a weightlifting competition and wins! Turns out the powerhouse of the cell is the might of con 'Drea.

I just gave all my life savings to the San Andreas foundation.

You might say I’m generous to a fault.

They caught me throwing presents into the San Andreas.

But I’ve always been generous to a fault.

I keep hearing people say these SoCal earthquakes are being caused by the heat or as punishment for how we have been acting. I think they are wrong.

It is actually the San Andreas's fault.

My Wife found out that our Dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the Veterinarian.......

The Vet found that the problem was Hair in the Dog's Ears.

He cleaned both ears, and the Dog could then hear fine.

The Vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Veet" hair remover and rub it in the Dog's ...

"San Andreas" starring The Rock is a great movie but it could never be perfect...

Because there is one enormous fault

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The great detective Herlock Sholmes was hired to investigate the disappearance of one of the most important political figures in the nation.

He was quickly briefed on the current situation: at two in the morning, a young woman named Andrea had been captured by an unknown party. Now normally, a kidnapping wouldn’t be something to call in the great Herlock Sholmes for, but Andrea was a special case.

In the nation of Modgasia, the go...

I watched the movie San Andreas today and I really enjoyed it

Despite its faults.

What did Saint Andrew say when the big earthquake hit California?

my fault




(San Andreas is Spanish for Saint Andrew)

A Cypriot Joke translated to English!

Two best friends depart their ways from High School to go abroad to make lots of money.

Many years later they meet up at a local a beach Costas says to Andrea how did you get on while abroad did you make a lot of money? Nah he said i been sitting here all these years drinking beers!

Co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Difference between Jam and Jelly

My girlfriend who lives up north, just asked me, “what’s the difference between Jam and Jelly?”
I said well Andrea, for one I can’t jelly my dick up your ass!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Son: "I fell in love with a beautiful girl."

Father: "That's great, do I know her?"

Son: "Yes, it is Andrea who lives across the street."

Father: "Oh that is bad, I am sorry, don't tell this to your mom but Andrea is your sister."

The boy is upset, but accepts the truth.

After few months he comes to his dad again...

When have videogames ever hurt anyone?

Well actually, three thousand people were killed in California in the 1906 earthquake. That was San Andreas's fault.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irish peasant

An Irish peasant named Kory Andrea grew up knowing nothing but potatoes. His dad farmed potatoes, and his dad farmed potatoes, all the way back a thousand years. He had spent the entirety of his first twenty years on this Earth farming and harvesting potatoes.

One day, as if suddenly, the pot...

The billionaire and the architect

Los Angeles has always been a place for these massive feats of human accomplishment. Case in point, in 1989, a local billionaire spent millions of his own money to create a unique building of fantastic architecture, one that would draw people in for thousands of miles. He hired a small time architec...

The Hotel California was destroyed last night and they’re looking for the suspect.

Evidence is pointing that its San Andreas’ fault

California hasn't fallen into the sea, so apparently it worked.

Back in the 1970's there was a cult in California who believed that they could save California by appeasing the San Andreas. There were parts of San Andreas that literally gaped open wide, and members of the cult were noted for throwing all their earthly possessions down into the amazingly deep crac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Am I too late for a Belgian joke?

It's World War I, now 100 years ago. A Belgian unit is hidden in it's trenches about 50m of German soldiers in theirs. After weeks of heavy shootings and minor progressions the Belgian colonel comes up with an idea. He says: "Guys, I've got a plan. Watch me!" and he takes position. He raises his voi...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.