Why did Brian Cox's telescope break when he looked at Saturn?

...because he didn't Titan his lens enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young newlywed couple finally makes it back to the honeymoon suite.

As they started to undress, the groom takes off his socks and the bride sees these huge gnarly growths on the groom's toes. She asks him what they were.
Groom says "When I was little I had a case of tolio." Bride says, "Don't you mean polio?". "Nope, tolio" he replied.

Then he takes off ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the generic name Viagra?

MaCoxAFlopin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A middle aged man is turning 40 and he's feeling severely depressed,

so he decides he'll treat himself to a prostitute. He and his companion for the evening retire to a motel room and he sits down on the side of the bed. The john starts untying his shoes and eventually slips off his socks.

In utter shock, the lady of the night gasps and says "What the fuck is ...

A man brought a lady back to his hotel after their first date...

A man brought a lady back to his hotel after their first date. Things went well for the two and in the heat, clothes starting coming off. The man took his shoes and socks off, and the woman noticed that his toes were all gnarled and twisted. She said "...what's wrong with your toes?"



...

Childhood Diseases

As the couple gets into bed for the first time the man tells the woman, “I've had some illnesses when I was young that has left me with some slight physical deformities, so please don't laugh.” He pulls down his trousers and his knees are severely deformed. He looks at the woman and says, “I had kne...

It was their wedding night. . .

And the inexperienced couple had never undressed in front of each other. As the new groom slipped off his shoes and socks, his bride couldn't help but notice how terribly deformed his feet were.

"My goodness, Dear, whatever happened to your feet"

"Well, my love, I never mentioned this...

Stop me if you've heard this one...

A high school decides to put on a reunion for the class of '98. Turnout is slow at first, but eventually the well known former students start to show up. There's student body president Leslie Pindogs and her kids, star quarterback Robert Course and his wife Molly, valedictorian Sandra Kevver and her...

A young inexperience couple on their wedding night NSFW

They have never been intimate and they begin to undress and see each other naked for the first time. The husband takes off his socks and his toes are contorted and bizarre looking. "Whoa!" she says, "what's up with your toes???"

 

"I had a childhood disease that left them lik...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Take that back Olympics

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back....

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man takes home a prostitute

After they get back, she starts undressing him, first starting with the socks.

Once she gets them off, she sees that his toes are all mangled. She asks the man what happened and he replies, "When I was a child I had toelio"
The prostitute asks, "Do you mean Polio?"
He assures her it was...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've opened a bakery recently

and a lady phoned me up, wanting a cake with 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS' written on it.

I thought it was weird but made it anyway.

Mrs Cox was absolutely furious when I delivered it.

So was her son, Isaac.

A couple on honeymoon in hotel room undressing. The groom removes his socks and the bride asks: "What's wrong with your feet, your toes look all mangled?"

Groom: "I had Tolio as a child."
Bride: "You mean Polio?"
Groom: "No Tolio, the disease only affected my toes."

The groom then removes his pants and the bride asks: "What is wrong with your knees, they are lumpy and deformed?"

Groom: "As a child I had Kneasles."
Bride: "You me...

A newlywed couple is about to consummate their marriage. As they started to undress the following conversation ensued:

her: "What happened to your feet?"

him: "Oh don't worry about that, it's just Tollio"

her: "did you mean Polio?"

him: "no it's Tollio, it just affects the toes."

*He then took his pants off and showed some ugly looking knees.*

her: "What happened to your knees?"...

Why I Chose my Internet Provider

I chose Cox. At least they are honest about who they are.

My roommate forgot to pay the cable bill this month.

They came and cut our Cox off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tolio

A man and woman get married and have never spent the night together. In the honeymoon sweet the wife is way to horny and excited to wait any longer. She pushes her husband on to the bed and starts pulling off his shoes then socks...and screamed!
"Oh god what happened your feet???"
"I had tolio...

Kinda nerdy IT thing that escaped my mouth today at work...

I'd set up a server and tested everything internally. I was able to visit pages on the apache server, and make calls to the tomcat rest api servlet just fine.

However, when I tried external tests nothing worked. I checked, rechecked and verified the firewall was allowing the correct ports t...

A young couple left the church...

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were
spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and
began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife
asked,

"Ewwww---what's wrong with your feet? "Your toes look all ma...

It's Timmy's last day of school...

Timmy brings an apple for Ms. Macintosh, a banana for Mr. Peel, a melon for Coach Honeydew, and so on.

As the years pass by, the only one he really stays in touch with is Mrs. Cox.

A Bride and Groom just married are on their honeymoon...

the first night getting ready to consummate the marriage the bride starts to undo her new husbands clothes.

She starts by taking of his shoes and socks. To her surprise, she sees that his toes all mangled and gnarly, and asks 'Good heavens what is wrong with your toes?!'

The Groom exp...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.