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Helen Keller Jokes

Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as...

"The most violent book I have ever read"

Helen Keller was truly an inspiration,

She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama

Helen Keller

I ask my wife, "Why can't Helen Keller drive?"

She replies immediately, "Duh, because she's blind and deaf."

"No, it's because she's dead."



(Please comment your best Helen Keller jokes!)

A flashbang would be completely ineffective against Helen Keller.

Because she's dead.

How did Helen Keller burn her fingertips?

She was trying to read the waffle iron.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Cordaroy

Helen Keller's Favorite Joke

What do you call two blind people playing tennis?

Eternal love.

Helen Keller walks into a bar

Then a chair, and then the wall

What is the worst thing that you could say to Helen Keller?

Look at me while I’m talking to you!

The new book about Helen Keller is absolutely incredible!

The audio book is absolutely unintelligible though.

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well?

Neither did she.

Edit:Alternate Punchline Below

She screamed her hands off.

Why did Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Helen Keller call a hand job?

Oral sex.

Why did Helen Keller not get the joke about the fishes ?

Because she didn't have aqueous humour

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity

Granny forgot to remove the plunger.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines?

They're painful to look at.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Helen Keller’s belly button hurt?

Her boyfriend was blind too.

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?

They rearranged the furniture

Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house?

She didn't either.

How do you confuse Helen Keller?

... give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

You guys ever hear that joke about Helen Keller’s dad ?

Neither did she

I Won't Allow Anyone to Insult Helen Keller's Accomplishments.

If you say she only became famous due to blind luck, your claim shall fall on deaf ears.

(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone?

Senseless violence.

Why did Helen Keller fire her housekeeper?

She left the plunger in the toilet.

Why didn't Helen Keller go sky diving?

It scared the hell out of her Seeing Eye dog.

Stop the Helen Keller jokes

you have to be really blind not to see what's wrong with them.

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself?

You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"

Where did Helen Keller work all the live long day?

The braille road

Do you guys remember Helen Keller jokes? What's your favorite one? I'll go.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?

She's a woman.

Anne Frank, Michael Jackson, and Helen Keller walk into a bar...

Just kidding they're all dead.

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

She tried to read a Stop-sign going 50mph

What’s worse than raping Helen Keller

Breaking her fingers so she can’t tell anybody.

Guys please stop making jokes about Helen Keller.

They’re just plain senseless.

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