A van carrying snooker equipment has crashed in the motorway

Queues on both sides.

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Jungle snooker. (Long Old joke, but then I’m old so you may not have heard it)

An elephant, a crocodile and a snake met by a riverbank, they had known each other for years and were pals. How about a game ? said the crocodile and the others agreed. Jungle snooker? Asked the elephant. Don’t know that one said the snake, how’s it played? Well said the elephant it’s like table ...

Dad’s advice some years ago; “If you get into a fight in the pub, put a snooker ball in your sock.”

Worst advice ever, I could hardly walk!

I've always wanted to play snooker

But I never had the balls

Huge crash on the high way, a lorry full on snooker equipment toppled over

There were cues for miles

Used one of the kids dolls to play snooker

It's now a Barbie-cue

'I've always wanted to play snooker' I told my friend

'Do you know the rules?' he asked


'Do you have some cues?'


'A table?'


'So what's stopping you?'

'(sigh) I just don't have the balls'

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The animals in the zoo are bored.

The snake says "I know, we can play billiards" The elephant scoffs "How. we don't have a table?" The snake explains they can do tricks, and the other animals judge them as to how many balls they have sunk. So each animal does their best and the snake is winning, showing off he says to the elephant "...

What do Russians play at the bar?

Snooker Blyat

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Valentine night for Men.

I have booked a dim lit table for two tonight for me and the Wife.

I just hope the fuck she likes Snooker....

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A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...

...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can’t place where he might know her from, so he says “sorry do you know me?”

She re...

Don't think that colour doesn't matter. Brown, yellow and black must be eliminated so that only white remains. It's the only way to reach victory.

Said the snooker teacher.

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.

Why are American police officers so bad at snooker?

They always shoot the black

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.

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What's the similarity between snooker and sex?

If red covers pink, go for the brown.

What’s green and has four legs and if it falls out a tree it’ll kill you?

A snooker table.

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Just booked a table for me and the missus for Valentines Day knowing this is going to end in tears....

She’s shit at snooker

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Snooker is like sex.

The pink is more valuable than the brown.

I was playing snooker with Jacqueline.

I looked at her and said, "Where's your cue?"

She said, "It's after the C."

One wish

"Waiter, does your band play anything by a guest's choice?"

"Of course!"

"Let them play a game of snooker then, so I can eat my dinner in peace!"

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"Pornography has really damaged the way you view sex,"

exclaimed my girlfriend, "I've had enough, I'm leaving."

I said, "Before you go, can we fuck on the snooker table while your Grandad watches?"

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A man is shopping when he notices a hot blond girl is staring at him

After a while he asks her: "I'm sorry, but do we know each other?". She replies: "Yeah, I think you are the father of one of my children."

The man knows very well he only cheated once and clearly remembers everything that happened so lowers his voice: "Ah, then you must be the call-girl from ...

Me and girlfriend don't usually do anything for valentines day, thought I'd surprise her so I booked a table for us, she was so excited when I told her

Never realised she liked snooker so much.

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