This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m never smoking weed with immigrants again.

I asked "Anyone have any papers?" and they all ran like fuck.

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We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

How to make Americans take vaccines

Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,

''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she s...

Trump says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.

Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

Trump followed through with his plan to get rid of illegal immigrants

By making America so bad they'll leave on their own.

Sven and Ole are two fictional swedish immigrants who live in Minnesota. They are characters used in jokes. I heard this one from my dad.

Sven is vacationing at his cabin in northern Minnesota and happens to get in line at a Dairy Queen.

An indian (native american) man approaches him and makes a proposition.

Indian Man: Hey I have a deal for you. I will ask you a riddle. If you can answer it I will buy you an ice cream, ...

There are immigrants who had came to America, stolen jobs and murdered the local population

and we call those immigrants the founding fathers

Immigrants speak the best English.

Three paisanos from the old country are trying to impress each other with the big words they have learned in English.

One says, “My wife can’t have more children. That means she’s inconceivable.”

The second says, “That’s too bad, but you used the wrong word, you mean she’s impregnabl...

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A Laotian businessman opened a small shop in London.

He was very quiet and diligent with his bookkeeping. He always made sure to help out his employees when he could, typically hiring other Laotian immigrants in the area who were struggling to find work.

Among these employees was a group of three friends from Surrey. Although they were rowdy an...

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Governor Abbot wants to build a border wall with Mexico...

So, after a period of bidding, his team shortlists a few contractors and bring them for an interview with the Governor...


First, a Mexican contractor shows up:

\- Hi, I'm going to charge 1 million dollars for each mile of wall.
\- And how come it's going to be so cheap? ...

Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant?

Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

I hate immigrants...

If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...

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Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone.

He asked his wife Melinda where they went, who replied that Steve Jobs showed up earlier and offered them the same work at his mansion for double their previous wage.
Bill became furious. "Fucking Jobs, coming here and taking our immigrants!"

immigrants are often doing work, which no one else wants to do

for example Melania Trump

What do you call immigrants to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did yo...

My wife asked me why Russia has paid family leave while the US does not...

I explained that in Russia life is hard and adults need to be incentivized to produce more kids.

But in America, if we want more kids, we just have to let some immigrants out of their cages. Much cheaper.

Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better

Pence: The fewer


Trump: I told you not to call me that yet

What game do French immigrants play

Lacrosse

[Politics] Trump: 'The less immigrants we bring in the better'

Pence: 'The fewer'

Trump: 'I told you not to call me that yet'

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It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of Mexican immigrants, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the p...

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Immigrants are good cause they do jobs no American wants to do

Like fucking the president.



\-Jeff Ross

Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants.

Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.

It's been noted that two out of three of Donald Trump's wives were immigrants.

Which just shows immigrants are needed to do the things that the locals are averse to doing . . .

I can see why Americans have reservations of taking in immigrants

Last time a lot of immigrants migrated there, they took over the whole damn place.

I think Americans are right to worry about immigrants

Because they might commit a mass shooting just to fit in with the culture.

Trump Says Immigrants take Jobs Americans Refuse to take.

Like being his wife.

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

It's a shame the immigrants and their kids at the U.S. border aren't named Church and State

then the GOP would never separate them.

Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?

Nether. They’re immigrants in America.

Trumps wives were immigrants

Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't

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In the future Mexico became the wealthies, most transparent, most peaceful, most progressive, most developed and most prosperous nation in the Americas while the US became a 3th world shithole.

As such many Mexicans decided to move back to Mexico but among them there were also Americans trying to emmigrate. As such the border checks were supposed to make sure that those going in Mexico were Mexicans and not American immigrants.


A man aproaches the border and is asked: "What's yo...

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

There was 5 Chinese immigrants. Their names were chu, lu, bu, fu, and su.

When they decided to go to America, they decided to change their names to something more western. They renamed themselves:
Chuck, luck, and buck. Fu and Su didn’t get a passport because they committed tax fraud.

What do you call it when your back spasms from carrying around all the money you made on contracts to detain potential immigrants?

A compensation cramp.

3 Chinese Immigrants

Lee Bu, Chan Chu and Fred Fu immigrated to the USA. They decided in order to become Americans, they need to americanize their last names.

Lee Bu changed his last name to Bucks.

Chan Chu changed his last name to Chucks.

Fred Fu left the USA to Canada after becoming the laughing...

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