Immigrants Jokes

Artificial Swedeners

Pence: The fewer


Trump: I told you not to call me that yet

Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

Come to America. One says to the other, "we are in America now. We have to act like Americans."

So as they walk, the come across a hot dog vendor with many customers crowding the cart. One immigrant turns to the other and says, "They eat dogs here?" The other immigrant says, "I guess they do.... read more

If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot ... read more

Pence: 'The fewer'

Trump: 'I told you not to call me that yet'

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.

So they head to the nearest hot ... read more

Juan by Juan

Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.

Nether. They’re immigrants in America.

Patient: "They took our jabs!"

Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't

One day 3 immigrants were sitting in a bar: A Syrian, an Afghan and a Turkish

The Syrian finishes his beer, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. As pieces of glass are raining on them he says "In Syria glasses were so cheap that we never drank from the same glass twice"
... read more

Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

Immigrants should be allowed to put whatever head dress they prefer.

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te... read more

Three paisanos from the old country are trying to impress each other with the big words they have learned in English.

One says, “My wife can’t have more children. That means she’s inconceivable.”

The second says, “That’s too bad, but you used the wrong word, you mean she’s impregnabl... read more

Because they might commit a mass shooting just to fit in with the culture.

By making America so bad they'll leave on their own.

Because of all the No “Tres”passing signs that are posted

Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.

Lacrosse

Last time a lot of immigrants migrated there, they took over the whole damn place.

Overheard at the White House:

Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."

Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."

Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".

Which just shows immigrants are needed to do the things that the locals are averse to doing . . .

Two Mexican immigrants compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks, the Mexicans meet again at a Denny's.

The first Mexican makes his case by saying: "Every day I take my son to football practice and my daughter to cheerleading classes. I've rece... read more

They've got me integrate trouble.

77 of them didn't understand me.

Because they keep trying to take all of the green cards!

and we call those immigrants the founding fathers

It's borderline racist.

You’ve been abducted by aliens

The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

Because they all crossed the Finnish line.

An immigrant from an Arab Muslim country was bragging that in HIS country there are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

Ray listened patiently. "That's amazing. Where I come from
there's really only one."

"Oh," sniffed the foreigner, "just one? And which way is that?"... read more

Getting caught by ice

Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.

A spaghetto.

If you don’t believe me ask any Native American.

They see the signs that say, "Watch for ICE on bridges".