UPJOKE
emigrationmigrantrefugeenaturalizationcitizenshipexpatriateforeignercountryancestryunited stateshuman migrationmigrantsimmigrationemigrantsexpatriates

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We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

What do you call immigrants to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

\[EDIT\]: Wow I can't believe the amount of people who would want to make it a reality. *Netflix if your seeing this post you know what to do.*

**If you want, you may follow this post - I may update it in the future if something exciting happens.** <...

I hate immigrants...

If i could find a country that didn't take immigrants in I'd move there...
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Trump: The less immigrants that come in, the better

Pence: The fewer


Trump: I told you not to call me that yet
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Two Immigrants from the old country

Come to America. One says to the other, "we are in America now. We have to act like Americans."

So as they walk, the come across a hot dog vendor with many customers crowding the cart. One immigrant turns to the other and says, "They eat dogs here?" The other immigrant says, "I guess they do....
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting millions of illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan
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Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?

Nether. They’re immigrants in America.
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Why did Donald Trump marry an immigrant?

Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.
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Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot ...
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Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States...

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.

So they head to the nearest hot ...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m never smoking weed with immigrants again.

I asked "Anyone have any papers?" and they all ran like fuck.

[Politics] Trump: 'The less immigrants we bring in the better'

Pence: 'The fewer'

Trump: 'I told you not to call me that yet'
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Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants.

Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.
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Doctor: "Sorry, sir, we have no more vaccines for American citizens, we gave them all to illegal immigrants."

Patient: "They took our jabs!"
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Bill Gates woke up in the morning and found that his Mexican housekeepers were gone.

He asked his wife Melinda where they went, who replied that Steve Jobs showed up earlier and offered them the same work at his mansion for double their previous wage.
Bill became furious. "Fucking Jobs, coming here and taking our immigrants!"

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...
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Trumps wives were immigrants

Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't
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One day 3 immigrants

One day 3 immigrants were sitting in a bar: A Syrian, an Afghan and a Turkish

The Syrian finishes his beer, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. As pieces of glass are raining on them he says "In Syria glasses were so cheap that we never drank from the same glass twice"
...
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Britain just announced that from next year, they will put a cap on new immigrants. I vehemently disagree with this policy.

Immigrants should be allowed to put whatever head dress they prefer.
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Immigrants speak the best English.

Three paisanos from the old country are trying to impress each other with the big words they have learned in English.

One says, “My wife can’t have more children. That means she’s inconceivable.”

The second says, “That’s too bad, but you used the wrong word, you mean she’s impregnabl...
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How to make Americans take vaccines

Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.
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What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.
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Why don’t illegal immigrants ever cross the border in groups of three?

Because of all the No “Tres”passing signs that are posted
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I think Americans are right to worry about immigrants

Because they might commit a mass shooting just to fit in with the culture.
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Trump followed through with his plan to get rid of illegal immigrants

By making America so bad they'll leave on their own.
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What game do French immigrants play

Lacrosse
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Trump says he’ll put a cap on immigrants coming into the US—I don't approve.

Immigrants should be allowed to wear what they like.
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I can see why Americans have reservations of taking in immigrants

Last time a lot of immigrants migrated there, they took over the whole damn place.
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i'm not german, but this is a little jokie joke

Overheard at the White House:

Trump to Vice-President Mike Pence: "the less immigrants we let in the better."

Pence to trump: "The FEWER.."

Trump interrupts Pence and says: "don't call me that in public".
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of Mexican immigrants, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the p...

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Bill Gates wakes up one morning...

...goes downstairs and is shocked to see his two polish housekeepers are nowhere to be seen.

He yells for his wife "Honey, where the hell have the maids gone?"

"Oh, Steve Jobs knocked on the door this morning" Replied his wife. "He offered both the house keepers twice what you're payin...

Two Mexican immigrants...

Two Mexican immigrants compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks, the Mexicans meet again at a Denny's.

The first Mexican makes his case by saying: "Every day I take my son to football practice and my daughter to cheerleading classes. I've rece...
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I asked 100 immigrants what they found annoying.

77 of them didn't understand me.
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Why can’t immigrants play uno?

Because they keep trying to take all of the green cards!
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If you’ve been kidnapped by immigrants

You’ve been abducted by aliens
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It's been noted that two out of three of Donald Trump's wives were immigrants.

Which just shows immigrants are needed to do the things that the locals are averse to doing . . .
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Puns about immigrants.

They've got me integrate trouble.
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There are immigrants who had came to America, stolen jobs and murdered the local population

and we call those immigrants the founding fathers
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Why are all immigrants to Finland winners?

Because they all crossed the Finnish line.
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What do the Titanic and Illegal Immigrants have in common?

Getting caught by ice
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I can't support building a wall to keep out illegal immigrants.

It's borderline racist.
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[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky

The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs
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Immigrants see things differently

An immigrant from an Arab Muslim country was bragging that in HIS country there are 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.

Ray listened patiently. "That's amazing. Where I come from
there's really only one."

"Oh," sniffed the foreigner, "just one? And which way is that?"...
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Chinese Immigrants

Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.
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What do you call a place where Italian immigrants live?

A spaghetto.
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Why don't illegal immigrants like to drive in the winter?

They see the signs that say, "Watch for ICE on bridges".
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US has serious problem with illegal immigrants.

If you don’t believe me ask any Native American.
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