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Immigration Jokes

When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record…

Confused, I replied, “Oh, is that still required?”

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport...

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, “Do you have any felony convictions?”

The Englishman replies, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”

Australian immigration asks...

Friend of a friend was entering Australia, going through customs.

Them: “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” Him: “I didn’t know it was still a requirement!”

They eventually did let him in, but they were clearly not happy with him.

As an immigration officer, I may not always agree with your opinions.

But…I can see where you are coming from.

A German visits France and is stopped at immigration.

The French immigration agent asks, "Business or pleasure?"

The German replies, "Pleasure!"

The agent asks, "Occupation?"

The German replies, "Nein, Nein, just visiting!"

Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings.

Corona did what Trump promised

I don’t like to talk illegal immigration too much.

Because that’s crossing a border

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Republican walks into a college bookstore and asks the proprietor, "I'm looking for Trump's new book on illegal immigration?"

The owner says "GET THE FUCK OUT!"

The Republican responds "Yeah! That's the one!"

A poll was taken in California, asking if people thought illegal immigration was a serious problem. 29 percent said, 'Yes, it is a serious problem.'

71 percent said, 'No es un problema serio.'

Illegal immigration jokes..

are borderline offensive

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At The Immigration Desk

Do you speak English?.........  "Yes!“

Name?...... “Abdul al-Rhazib“

Sex?..... "Three to five times a week!“

No, no, I mean male or female?..... "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel…“

Holy cow!....... "Yes, cow, sheep, many animalsl“

But isn't that hostile?...... "H...

Im sick of all these immigration jokes

They're really crossing the line

Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this...

Putin visits Estonia

Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".



"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".



"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

Angela Merkel arrives in Athens airport. "Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days

Don't blame Trump for this immigration policy,

Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

Immigration pulls a Spaniard Over and Questions him

Officer: “You aren’t American. You shouldn’t be here.”

Spanish Person: “But officer, I’m American.”

The officer thinks about it and says, “If you are, then use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.

The Spaniard thinks for a moment and says, “The phone goes gree...

An Israeli man walks up to the immigration counter

An Israeli man walks up to the immigration counter in arrivals at London Heathrow and proffers his passport. "Occupation?" queries the immigration official.

"No, just visiting."

Canada's immigration centre has a new slogan

You'll be sorry

My brother is an immigration officer. He and I disagree on almost every topic…

…But he usually sees where I’m coming from.

Putin lands in a foreign country and approaches the immigration desk

The border official reads through his passport and asks: "Occupation?"

Putin: "No, just visiting."

An Englishman began procedures at the Immigration Department to move to Australia

Immigration: "Do you have a criminal record?"

British guy: "Is that still necessary?"

Tourism and Immigration

A man dies and goes to heaven. After several years in heaven, he gets bored and decides to go on vacation to see Hell.

So he packs his bags and goes on the trip. Upon arrival in Hell, he's taken on a tour. It's the most amazing place he's ever seen: warm, but not hot, the women are beautiful...

An activist ask about my opinion on immigration reform

Apparently 'Im on the fence about it' is the wrong answer

How my grandfather passed his immigration exam

My grandfather arrived in the U.S from Cuba in 1969 and he loved telling us about how proud he was to become a U.S. citizen and how he was able to pass the immigration test despite knowing very little English.



Story goes: He sits down with the immigration official who was having a ve...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Muslim book store in New York: A man asks if they have the latest Donald Trump book on immigration.

"Fuck off, get out and don't come back" says the store owner.

"That's the one!" says the man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man's name is Herschel Leibowitz

The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz. He responds in a heavy accent "When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names. The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz. When they call for me to ask me ...

I talked to my Republican parents about immigration.

The conversation really went south.

Immigration

I don't know why then GOP is so hard on immigration. It's just the second coming of Jesus.

9th August 2021: a blond American woman is at the Canadian immigration counter......

The immigration officer is puzzled for a minute and then the light comes on.

"Thank you ma'am for that view but it is vaxxed not waxed'

Only 4 percent of Texas residents think there is an immigration problem...

The other 96% said "que dijo?"

Immigration to the US is a good thing.

Everytime someone moves to the US from their home country, the average IQs of both nations go up.

Guys, I think Trump's immigration policies just might work

China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.

illegal immigration attempt

an extremely black african man is trying to get to europe, he makes a fake passport with leonardo dicaprio's name and photo, at the airport the Airport Agent checks the man's passport and he is confused, he looks at the man's face again and rechecks the passort, still confused he calls his coworker ...

The Chinese immigrant

There's an old Chinese guy in my hometown who goes by Giacomo Antonelli. One day, I asked him how he ended up with an Italian name. He said that when he came to the US, he somehow got on the wrong ship and ended up traveling the long way from China to New York instead of San Francisco. The guy in fr...

What did the anti-immigration xenophobe say when he saw an alien saucer

'You! F. O.'

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