Immigration Jokes

Confused, I replied, “Oh, is that still required?”

But…I can see where you are coming from.

They're really crossing the line

Because that’s crossing a border

An Englishman walks up to the immigration counter at the Sydney Airport. The officer asks, “Do you have any felony convictions?”

The Englishman replies, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was still a requirement.”

are borderline offensive

Friend of a friend was entering Australia, going through customs.

Them: “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” Him: “I didn’t know it was still a requirement!”

They eventually did let him in, but they were clearly not happy with him.

The French immigration agent asks, "Business or pleasure?"

The German replies, "Pleasure!"

The agent asks, "Occupation?"

The German replies, "Nein, Nein, just visiting!"

Corona did what Trump promised

71 percent said, 'No es un problema serio.'

Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".



"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".



"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".

"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days

You'll be sorry

Officer: “You aren’t American. You shouldn’t be here.”

Spanish Person: “But officer, I’m American.”

The officer thinks about it and says, “If you are, then use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.

The Spaniard thinks for a moment and says, “The phone goes gree... read more

The border official reads through his passport and asks: "Occupation?"

Putin: "No, just visiting."

My grandfather arrived in the U.S from Cuba in 1969 and he loved telling us about how proud he was to become a U.S. citizen and how he was able to pass the immigration test despite knowing very little English.



Story goes: He sits down with the immigration official who was having a ve... read more

People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this... read more

Lady Liberty tried to come over from France 130 years ago and they still haven't let her in!

…But he usually sees where I’m coming from.

A man dies and goes to heaven. After several years in heaven, he gets bored and decides to go on vacation to see Hell.

So he packs his bags and goes on the trip. Upon arrival in Hell, he's taken on a tour. It's the most amazing place he's ever seen: warm, but not hot, the women are beautiful... read more

Apparently 'Im on the fence about it' is the wrong answer

Immigration: "Do you have a criminal record?"

British guy: "Is that still necessary?"

An Israeli man walks up to the immigration counter in arrivals at London Heathrow and proffers his passport. "Occupation?" queries the immigration official.

"No, just visiting."

The immigration officer is puzzled for a minute and then the light comes on.

"Thank you ma'am for that view but it is vaxxed not waxed'

I don't know why then GOP is so hard on immigration. It's just the second coming of Jesus.

The conversation really went south.

China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.

'You! F. O.'