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Identity Theft Jokes

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

but it turns out that identity theft is a crime. ;(

“You are what you eat”

Cannibal defends himself against identity theft charges

Why are older Israelis More Prone to Identity Theft?

They still use Netanyahu.

I am very upset with my mom. When I was growing up she told me, "You can be whoever you want to be."

That's not true. Turns out Identity Theft is a crime!

"You can be whoever you want to be!"

Instructions unclear. Currently serving time for identity theft.

When I was young, my Mom told me the same thing every day.

My mother never ceased to tell me that I could be anyone I wanted when I grew up. Many times a day, she reminded me of this. "You can be who ever you want when you grow up."

Today, I was arrested for identity theft.

In Madré Rossiya, it's illegal to manufacture storage drives with exact capacity of 1000 GigaBytes

Cause the KGB takes identity theft seriously

What do you call it when someone hacks your bank account, and performs a transaction that leaves you with exactly as much money as you had before?

Identity theft!

A math joke. Credit goes to Ben.

A dad and mom bring home a baby boy.

The dad is so excited, practically jumping up and down in joy to start popping dad jokes left and right. "honey calm down. You have to wait till he's at least 5 to start telling them to him" the mom says, to which the dad replys, "then I will wait."

On the sons fifth birthday the dad walks up...

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