Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are.

It's a handsomeware attack.

How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?

Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.

(Credit to my cousin)

What do Computer Hackers and priests have in common?

They both look for a backdoor entrance

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

EA have been hit by ransomware and need to pay up to $7,000,000

Hackers claim they want EA to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when they finally unlock their information

Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do hackers like anal?

They always go through the backdoor

What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called?

Anonymous Anonymous

Why do hackers grow their plants with hydroponics?

To get root access.

Hackers in a movie be like

lasdkfjhehdfvjdkfhier dhghtwoief ghih egjiufye r

I'm in.

You know what hackers did when Police showed up at their house?

They ransomware safe

Where did the hackers go when they escaped?

No idea, they just ransomware

I'm being attacked by Russian hackers!

Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.

What are the Vatican’s expert hackers called?

A-nun-ymous

What part of Russia do Russian hackers come from?

Cyberia

Why are hackers fast?

Because they're rushin'.

Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?

/ussr/bin/

What do tiny hackers eat?

Microchips.

What is a hackers favorite pop group?

The Black IP’s


Note: Siri voice to text is solely responsible for this

What day of the year are there no hackers on PUBG?

Chinese New Year.

What do interested chemists and 12 year-old hackers have in common?

Inspect element

I asked our security specialist, “How did the hackers get away?”

Miffed, he shrugged and answered, “No idea. They ransomware.”

What is the hardest step in a hackers career ?

2 step verification.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I heard that the hackers "Anonymous" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda...

Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!

Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS?

They know how the system will react to sin tax errors

Survey finds that 1 in 3 Republicans are of below average IQ

The other two are Russian Hackers.

What do computer criminals like to eat?

Cheese and Hackers.

(My 7-year old son came up with that one, so go easy :)

Topical Jokes for 10/19

(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)

Carmaker Audi has tested a driver-less car at speeds of up to 140 mph. The driver-less supercar is perfect for the parent who’s too drunk to drive, but needs to pick their kids up from school in three seconds.

In Be...

Recent cyber security breaches are discovered due to their rapid deployment.

The hackers are always Russian.

New leaks reveal that George Washington didn't cut down that cherry tree

it was actually brought down by Russian hackers

If school buses become autonomous...

hackers are going to have a field day.

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