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Hackers Jokes

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

I'm being attacked by Russian hackers!

Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.

You know what hackers did when Police showed up at their house?

They ransomware safe

Cybersecurity experts have found an easy way to spot North Korean hackers. They never use the shift key.

They hate capitalism.

How do you call a support group for recovering hackers?

Anonymous anonymous

What happens to Russian hackers when they get caught?

They get sent to Cyberia.

Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal?

It was non-binary

Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

Hackers in a movie be like

lasdkfjhehdfvjdkfhier dhghtwoief ghih egjiufye r

I'm in.

What happens to German hackers when they encounter anti-cheat software?

They get an autobahn.

Why are dentists really good hackers?

Because they always get root access.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do hackers like anal?

They always go through the backdoor

What was the hackers' rehabilitation meeting called?

Anonymous Anonymous

Why are hackers fast?

Because they're rushin'.

Where do Russian Hackers store their exploits?

/ussr/bin/

What are the Vatican’s expert hackers called?

A-nun-ymous

What is a hackers favorite pop group?

The Black IP’s


Note: Siri voice to text is solely responsible for this

What day of the year are there no hackers on PUBG?

Chinese New Year.

What do interested chemists and 12 year-old hackers have in common?

Inspect element

Hackers took over our system and won't give us back access to our files until we tell them how good looking they are.

It's a handsomeware attack.

I asked our security specialist, “How did the hackers get away?”

Miffed, he shrugged and answered, “No idea. They ransomware.”

Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS?

They know how the system will react to sin tax errors

So the FBI paid professional hackers to unlock the shooter's iPhone.

But whenever I pay hackers to unlock an iPhone, I'm "too insecure to be in a relationship".

Survey finds that 1 in 3 Republicans are of below average IQ

The other two are Russian Hackers.

I changed my password

It’s now “incorrect” so when you type the password it will say it’s the incorrect password

Haha hackers lose

What do computer criminals like to eat?

Cheese and Hackers.

(My 7-year old son came up with that one, so go easy :)

Breaking news: EA has been hacked

Apparently the hackers have stolen some 780GB of data. EA insists no player data has been compromised.

They said it's in the game.

Watching action movies on shady sites is great.

You get to experience the movie for free that you would usually have to pay for.

The intense hacking scene in which the database needs to be defended from overseas hackers displaying threat messages.

As well as experiencing the supermodel love interest confess her love.

Then ...

New leaks reveal that George Washington didn't cut down that cherry tree

it was actually brought down by Russian hackers

Recent cyber security breaches are discovered due to their rapid deployment.

The hackers are always Russian.

If school buses become autonomous...

hackers are going to have a field day.

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