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Gags Jokes

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My wife has the worst gag reflex.

She gags at the thought of giving me a blow job.

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What’s a good title for necrophilia porn?

Good mourning.

Mythology gags, anyone?

What can kill you with a glance and goes "Hittthhh"?

The Basilisp.

Does anyone know any good gags?

Said Kim's robber.

Why don't oxen laugh at funny gags?

*Because the yokes on them!*

So I started dating a ventriloquist who is into BDSM...

Turns out gags are completely ineffective.

This is dedicated to the late Les Dawson and his Mother-in-Law gags. I just bought my mother-in-law an electric chair. Now, you might say that was cruel of me...

...but you should have seen the way her eyes lit up.

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An American, an Englishman, and an Irishman walk into a bar. Each one orders a pint. Three flies land, one on each glass.

The American gags and pushes his drink away. The Englishman shrugs, flicks the fly away, and drinks the beer. The Irishman picks up the fly, shakes it up and down, and shouts, "Spit it out, fucker!"

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Another guy comes home from work to find his wife very upset....

"Honey, what's the matter?" he asks.

"This!" she says, pulling out a stack of heavy duty S&M porn magazines, you know, the really hardcore German stuff with whips, chains, leather suits & ball gags. "I found these in our son's room when I was changing the sheets. What are we going to ...

What did Nancy Reagan say when she got to the ball?

(Gags)

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[NSFW]: A woman walks into a bar ...

A woman walks into a bar and appears to be depressed. Alone, she begins drinking heavily. A man walks into the bar soon after with the same expression on his face and sits a few stools down from her while also beginning to drink heavily. Eventually, the woman slides down and asks him what's wrong....

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What are some of your best “and then I said” jokes

When my friends and I are talking I like to every now and then go “and then I said ping pong balls not king kong’s balls” for a laugh.

I wondered if anyone else has any gags like this?

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I’ve decided to stop giving blowjobs during marathons.

I’m just not a fan of running gags.

What does a puking marathoner have in common with a joke about karma and cake?

They are both running gags.

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The bet

Me: Bet you $10 you can't fit my dick in your mouth without gagging.
Her: That's a bet you're gonna lose.
Me: *unzips
Her: Yeah, no prob. *kneels, begins
Me: If you feel something rough it's just a scab...
Her: *gags
Me: I won...

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"Name that drink."

A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name the kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell.

A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name."

"You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay."...

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