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Homestead Jokes

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Joe the Homesteader

Joe decides to move out of the city to the country & become a homesteader.

He buys 50 acres, sets up a tent and begins to chop down trees and make plots for food.

Joe lives out in the woods for 2 months until he is awoke early in the morning.

"Hello? Anybody here" says a...

an Amazon native can predict the weather

Engineers were preparing to build a highway in the middle of the Amazon forest when a native rocked up and told them to seek shelter because there would be heavy rain in 2 hours. The engineers looked up at the clear sky, didn't heed the man's prediction and continued with their work. In exactly 2 ho...

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A reclusive cowboy goes into town one day to fix his tools.

Whilst waiting for the job to be completed he goes next door to the saloon and sits himself at the bar.

Bartender: “How can I help you today sir”

Cowboy: “I want a whiskey and a women”

Bartender: “I sure can help you with that whiskey Sir, but we ain’t got no women workin’ today...

Carl and Clarance lived on opposite sides of the Mississippi River..

They lived their whole lives right across the river from each other, way back in the day. The nearest bridge across was 100 miles away, and both were too poor to afford an automobile, so from their youth they made a past time of shouting insults to one another from across the river.
For many yea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

City slicker buys an old farm

There was a gentlemen from the city who decided he wanted to live a simpler life. He buys an old empty farm. Going to the local general store by his new homestead, he asks where he can get some animals. The owner tells him to go to Old Man Murphy’s farm down the road a ways and he will get him all s...

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