Why does Santa spend 364 days a year forming strong masculine relationships?

Bros before hos

It seems that today you either have to dress like a masculine motor king or a feminine flower queen; I wish there was a middle ground.

A daisy duke if you will.

What is the most masculine job you can have?

Being a male man.

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

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A man and his husband...

Were talking one evening over dinner when the more effeminate one expressed he was feeling a bit down in the dumps. The husband enquired as to what was happening...

Twink: “Well, I’m not feeling very ‘manly’ lately”.

Bear: “Oh hun, you are you and I love you, but why?”

Twink: si...

World's most masculine name:

Guy Chapman
(It literally means "Man Manman")

When I brought up to someone that I was starting a fruit farm he thought I was extremely non-masculine

He sent a lot of mixed messages when he told me to Grow a Pear

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There once was a man with an extremely high-pitched voice

(For retelling, ^(superscript) is high-pitched/falsetto voice)

He had since long passed puberty, but while his friends got deep, manly voices, his remained so high that he ^(spoke like this). Ever since then, it had been a tremendous source of insecurity. Now, he was in his thirties, and he r...

Why is the Devil masculine?

He’s evil with a D.

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My parents wanted me to have masculine name like Richard...

But I prefer Dick

What do you call a masculine Arab?

Protein Sheikh

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Lifeguard with a little head

A lifeguard with a huge masculine body and a very small head (I mean unnaturally small) was patrolling the beach. Many people knew him
When his head was normally sized but everyone was too scared to ask him what had happened... until Tim walked past him and said “hold up! Bob what happened to you...

What is the most masculine profession?

What is the most masculine profession?

Maleman

One popular feminine symbol of true romance is roses on a piano.

Most masculine ideas of romance include tulips on an organ.

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Cameltoe is feminine...

With the masculine form mooseknuckles. What is the feminine form of sausage fest?

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A joke my dad, who is Polish, tells me all the time so I'm convinced it must be real funny

It is the cold war and there is a global military convention where each military boasts how their army is the best. After a long day of watching each country's army marching with their strongest and most masculine men, the generals sit down in the banquet hall. An American, German, and Soviet genera...

A German, a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Brazilian appreciate the picture of Adam and Eve in Paradise.

German comments:



"Look at what perfection of bodies: she, slender and haired; he, with his athletic body, his profiled muscles. They must be Germans."



Frenchman replies:



"I don't believe it. The eroticism from the figures is evident! She, so feminine, he,...

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[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

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A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night,

when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.

He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes,

and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare.

Th...

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Groundbreaking Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

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A recent scientific study revealed that women found different male attributes attractive depending on where they were in their menstrual cycle.

For example, a woman ovulating found men with rugged masculine features most attractive.
Whereas a woman menstruating preferred men doused in petrol, set on fire with scissors stuck in his eyes, an axe in his skull and a javelin stuck up his arse.

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Longish literary-ish joke translated from Russian

Russia in the 1930s. Winter. Poverty. Famine. It's freezing cold. A poorly dressed kid is running across a courtyard with an armful of deadwood, followed by an angry caretaker.

The kid is running and thinking to himself:
>I gotta put an end to this. After all, I come from a nice family,...

My wife and I were talking about our physical relationship.

"I wish you were more of a lion," she said.

"A lion? Why?" I asked.

She said, "They are masculine and aggressive."

"I wish you were more of a mule," I said.

"A mule? Why?" she asked.

I said, "They can't reproduce."

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