UPJOKE
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Abel Jokes

If your name is Abel

You probably should lie about your name when introducing yourself to someone in a wheelchair. Otherwise it sounds like you’re bragging.

How long did Cain beat his brother?

As long as he was Abel.

When Adam and Eve found out that Abel was dead

they raised Cain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of books I've read this year

● Taming Wild Cats by Claude Face.


● Making Weatherproof Clothes by Ranier Day.


● All Aboard! by Abel Seamann.


● One Hundred Metres to the Bus Stop, by Willy Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont.


● The Greatest Detective Stories Ever Told by Watts E. Dunn.
...

Did you hear about the 5 constipated men in the Bible?

1. Cain. He wasn't Abel....
2. Moses. He took 2 tablets....
3. Balaam. He couldn't move his ass(it's in the Bible, look it up)....
4. King Solomon. He sat on the throne for 40 years.....
5. King David. He said no power in Heaven or on Earth could move him.....

I had a terrible nightmare

It was quite strange. I dreamt that the Canadian singer-songwriter Abel Makkonen Tesfaye had conquered the world and instituted a horrible system of forced labor. There was no alternative.

Everybody was workin' for The Weeknd.

Why didn't Newton discover group theory?

The reasom is because he wasn't Abel

Did you know the most tragic event where 1/4 of the human population died?

Apparently, it happened when Abel was murdered.

The reason Cain commited murder

He was going to stop, but he wasn't Abel.

Who was the first man diagnosed with erectile dysfunction?

Cain.

He wasn't Abel.

Why didn’t Cain build a house for his father?

He was not Abel

Adam, Eve, and their kids build a hut...

As they didn't have any of our modern conveniences, they were looking for ways to make themselves more comfortable. Cain notices that the opening in the wall lets lots of bugs in, so he comes up with a solution. He cuts a tree down and starts shaping the wood into a rectangle to cover it. Meanwhile,...

Did you guys know that handicapped people were mentioned in the beginning of the bible?

Cain's family was dis-Abel'd.

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