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Healthiest Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world?

Because last time they had a fat man 80,000 people died

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russia has been cut off from CNN, CBS, ABC Pornhub, Facebook...

US is working depriving Russians of McDonalds, Coca-Cola and US fastfood. They continue with these sanctions and Russian people will probably be the most healthiest, well adjusted, spiritual and well informed people on the planet.

Why are hyenas the healthiest animals on the planet?

Because laughter is the best medicine.

3 boys were having a debate who had the healthiest grandma

Boy 1: I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!
Boy 2: No I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!
Boy 3: I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital...
Boy 1 and 2 looking confused
...

What's the healthiest part of a donut?

The middle.

What's the healthiest cuisine?

Vitaminese food.

Who's the healthiest member of the Army?

General Wellbeing

If you like music, what is the healthiest key?

C of course.....it's all natural.

According to my doctor, it'd be healthiest to stay away from trans fats.

I'm really going to miss tumblr.

what's the healthiest thing about eating a wheelchair?

The vegetable.

They say breaking a sweat every day is one of the healthiest things you can do...

good thing I eat a lot of Indian food.

I don’t love steampunk

But I will say it’s easily the healthiest way to prepare punk.

Subway

Friend: Why do you always eat at Subway.

Me: It is the healthiest of the fast food options

Friend: Do you usually order one of the vegetable or low.
calorie sandwiches

Me: No, but I at least have to get out of the car.

A man with a large growth on his nose is in a failing marriage.

He comes home from the doctor, and his wife asks how it went.

The husband replies "Wonderful! I've lost two inches from my waist, my blood pressure is in a healthy range, and I no longer have any problems with my posture."

The wife looks perplexed.

"In fact" the husband conti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three friends find a lamp and release a Genie...

The Genie is extremely grateful to the three friends for releasing him from his dormant stage and offers three wishes to each man.

The first one says "I want to have enough money that I don't have to work another day in my life." As soon as he finished, his phone beeped saying he had $10 Mil ...

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