Grows Jokes - 33 Hilarious Grows Jokes

A penguin grows tired of the cold winters in Alaska...

So he buys a used Corvette and heads south for warmer weather. About five hundred miles into the trip the Corvette starts to overheat.

He stops in a small town and finds a mechanic to get the issue fixed. The mechanic says he is not going to be able to look at the car for an hour, so the Pen...

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What body part grows ten times its size when stimulated?

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will ...

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I wrote a novel about an old man who grows younger every time he masturbates.

It's a coming of age story.

My friend bioengineered a cannabis plant that grows large, colorful flowers.

I got to see it, and I must admit, it was pretty dope.

A sperm asked another sperm what it wants to be when it grows up..

The other sperm answered: I will become.

Who grows the best weed in the world?

Saudi Arabia, smoke it once and get stoned twice

Germany is telling its citizens to stock up on sausages and cheese as fear of COVID grows.

It's the wurst-kase scenario

What does an acorn say when it grows up?

Geometry.

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Teacher asks Johnny what he want to be when he grows up.

"I Wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive club, take the best , give her a Ferrari over a million, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe; an Infinite visa card, and make love to her three times a day."
The teacher, not knowing what to do ...

Based on where it grows, What do you call Red Ferns?

Puppy Trees!!

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What do you call the fungus that grows on toys?

Dildew.

A girl wants to be a comedian when she grows up.

Her parents are sad she doesn't want to carry on the family farm, but they encourage their daughter to follow her dreams. She's too shy to tell people her puns in person, so she figures out how to share them another way.

The girl takes a bunch of her father's old pasture fence posts and pound...

A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.

“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table. “If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”

So the man and his wife...

I don't understand why people think money grows on trees when clearly, it actually grows on shrubbery.

That's where hedge funds come from!

My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?

An Ultra-Violet

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What happens when Donald Trump takes ?

He grows taller.

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My son told me that he wanted to be Batman when he grows up.

The little wants me to be gunned down in an alley.

What kind of Apple grows on a tree?

All of them……what were you expecting here

What's something that grows on trees and every Amazon driver has one?

A pecan.

A boy is born without a body

A boy is born without a body and miraculously survives. Even though he has no body parts below the neck he manages to make it through high school and on his 18th birthday his father takes him out for his first drink.

The boy drinks his first beer and instantly grows a torso. In utter shock, t...

What do you call a tree that grows meat?

Dmitry!

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and aft...

What do you call a snake that grows to 3.14m in length?

A π-thon. (A pi-thon)

What do you call a teenager who never grows up?

Constantine

What does Ariana Grande want to be when she grows up?

Ariana Venti

\*Thanks to my dad for this one

If my daughter grows up to be a nun..

Will I call her "daughter" or "sister"??

What do you call someone who grows plants by watering them with blood?

A phlebotanist

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male .

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

What city grows twice its population?

Dublin

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.”

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown.”

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to b...

What happens when toilet paper grows up big and strong?

It becomes a toiletry.

I know a farmer that grows doritos

It's a cool ranch

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