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Grooming Jokes

Why did Prince Andrew stop grooming the Corgi's?

He found out they were 18 in dog years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm opening a pet grooming business.

I'm calling it "Bitch, I will cut you"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The local community was being to believe the new teacher was grooming their kids

They were pissed to find all baby goats in town with a perm and a fresh trim.

Prince Andrew is going to inherit The Queen's Corgis.

Makes sense with his experience in grooming.

I want to open a dog grooming salon.

I'm going to call it 'doggy style'.

A man walks into an empty bar

He orders a pint and sits at the bar.
Suddenly he hears a small voice saying:
"That's a lovely shirt you're wearing mate. Suits your body type really well and the pattern is very stylish"

The man looks around but doesn't see anyone other that the bartender. He shrugs and goes back to hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mom washed and combed my hair every day when I was a kid. I used to think it was so sweet and now I am horrified by it...

All those years, she was grooming me
Sick bitch...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My town is in trouble after hosting a feline grooming competition where they gave an award for the cleanliness of your cat's rectum.

It's a cat-ass-trophy.

My 14 year old girl asked me what hairstyle would look good on her

Don’t ever google tips for grooming a teenage girl. I’m now on a list somewhere….

Hairdresser Arrested

A hairdresser was arrested near the quarry today, she was grooming miners

A man stopped me in the street yesterday

And asked "what grooming products do you use?"

"Haribo's and Facebook works every time" I said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar.

He sees an old man with his dog at the bar.


The dog was grooming himself and licking his penis.

The guy said o the dog's owner, "I wish I could do that".


The owner said "If you throw him a biscuit he might let you"

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