This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Drunk and the Bum

There was a drunk and a bum. The drunk said, “you can jump off a building and pop back up to the top.”
Bum said, “no way. If you jump off a building you will die.” So the drunk took the bum to the tallest building in the city. Jumped off the building and popped back up to the top. Not a scratch o...

Justin told me my mama was so fat she had a gravitational orbit ...

I told him he doesn’t understand how physics works, cause everyone has a gravitational orbit.

Then I informed him his dad is so massive that his gravitational orbit is so large, not even light can escape it — and that’s why he hasn’t seen his dad in 20 years!

Safety Alert!

They had to update the guidelines on social distancing, now no one is allowed within 12 feet of your mom.

Six feet was too close and people were falling into her gravitational well.

Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time

Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize.

Yo mama's so fat she's attractive....

…. gravitationally

People are strongly attracted to yo momma

because of her gravitational force.

What makes overweight people so attractive?

They have a strong gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, you can see directly behind her

Gravitational lensing

Your momma is so fat

Her gravitational field is ridiculously strong making her literally attractive

A Level Physics lmao

Why was the physicist studying gravitational fields so much more handsome than the one studying electrical fields?




Electrical Fields are repulsive sometimes, but Gravitational Fields are always attractive.

Your mom is very attractive...

...mainly due to her massive gravitational pull.

When I met your Mom I was extremely attracted to her because

that's how large object gravitational fields work.

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

I have a confession to make. I'm attracted to children.

Gravitationally speaking.

Your mama is so fat...

If you and I stood ten feet from her and you walked to her then walked back to me I would have aged 20 years due to gravitational time dilation.

Yo mama fell down...

The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today

I am not fat...

I am just horizontally challenged ... or gravitationally significant.

It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts)

Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is.

Yo' mama so fat--

Bacterias can't leave her body due to her gravitational force.

[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green...

...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift.

You remind me of a beautiful star in the night sky...

You each have your own gravitational pull.

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