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Grand Theft Jokes

Why do orphans play Grand Theft Auto

So they can be wanted.

GRAND THEFT AUTO

A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."

Between grand theft and a legal fee...

...there only stands a law degree.

I was playing grand theft auto 5 when all of a sudden it crashes and an error message pops up

It read “unfortunately the game is corrupted and the data will be deleted” feeling sad and annoying with my 100s of hours lost I looked up online as to why it happened. I found a guide that said if you restart the game on the same console and go to the nearest garage and talk to the guy who’s workin...

I got bored the other day so I decided to play a game of grand theft auto

The local police did NOT appreciate that

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't want my son buying Grand Theft Auto. Having sex with prostitutes, stealing from innocent people, driving recklessly...

I can teach him about these for free.

Grand Theft Auto 6 just announced. Already criticized for displaying "excessive and gratuitous violence towards pedestrians".

Apparently your character is just a normal on-duty cop.

Someone broke into my car but they only stole the sound system.

It was grand theft audio.

I have a Yelp Page

My restaurant, Grand Theft Auto, is doing well, but I can’t seem to get 5 stars

What do you call a robbery of Italian ice cream?

Grand Theft Gelato

Part of our choir got kidnapped last week!

Two guys just got arrested for grand theft alto.

Americans, Asians & Mexicans

What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill?

A: White Power.

What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill?

A: Asian Power.

What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill?

A: Grand Theft Auto.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Stretcher

A man is blazing down a highway in a brand new Ferrari when after crossing a bridge he notices a cop behind him. He pulls over and the cop is about to write a hefty ticket until he approaches the car:

Cop - Dispatch, we have a grand theft auto. Please send backup

Driver - HEY OFFICER! ...

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