UPJOKE
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I went to the doctor for a bad gout attack

After assessing the severity of my gout, he reached into his coat pocket to grab pen to write me prescription. Instead of a pen, he had a rectal thermometer in his hand. I laughed and pointed. He said, ā€œOh dear. Appears some asshole has my pen.ā€

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The three pigs.

The first pig, Straw Pig, looked out his front window of his straw house as a big, bad wolf appeared in his driveway. At the top of his lungs, the wolf yelled ā€œLITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG, LET ME IN OR Iā€™LL HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW YOUR HOUSE INā€. Straw pig wasnā€™t worried, so he gave the wolf the finger an...

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