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Life Expectancy Jokes

Patient: What's my life expectancy?

Doctor: 120

Patient: 120 what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Doctor: 119

The average life expectancy of alligators is about 50 years...

So there is no rush, you indeed can see it later.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%.

I've done the maths. I am immortal.

I asked the doctor what my life expectancy was.

He said, "Financial troubles leading into a long-term bout of depression before an inevitable death."

How to solve issues with life expectancy

The doctor has given me four months to live.
I shot the doctor, The judge gave me 20 years.
Problem solved

One day, a doctor goes on a boat tour in rural Asia.

After a while, the doctor asks the tour leader, "Can you do maths?" the tour leader says, "No I can't, actually." the doctor replies, "Well, your life expectancy is reduced by a quarter.

Later the doctor asks again, "Do you understand science?" the tour leader again says no. The doctor says,...

Say what you will about Trump's Presidency, but you can't overlook what he has accomplished in terms of healthcare specifically life expectancy...

He managed to turn one year into something that feels like an eternity.

Flatten the curve

Of life expectancy

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