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Kidney Stone Jokes

It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby.

Because people always say they want another baby but no ones ever said they want another kidney stone.

How do you know kidney stones are worse than pregnancy?

After a a kidney stone, nobody says “let’s have another”

my husband, who works in a funeral home

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was...

What did the kidney stone say to the man?

Urine trouble.

England may not have a kidney stone…

But they do have a Liverpool

How do you get a kidney stone?

By living a sedimentary life style.

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!”

“Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?”

The man replies “One water please”

“Just a water??”

“Yeah, I have kidney stones.”

Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones.

Thanos used them in the Infinity Gauntlet.

I passed my kidney stones with flying colors!

But mostly red.

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?

It clogs the P ways

My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers

(I have kidney stones)

Father Dave took a seat on the A train in NYC...

and was disgusted to see a drunk sitting across from him. The disheveled smelly man was wearing a t-shirt with a photo of a naked lady on it and he reeked of alcohol. The drunk stared at the priest for a few minutes and then blurted out "Father, what causes migraines and kidney stones?" THe priest g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend asked me if I wanted to buy his kidney stones.

I said that's a hard pass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the doctor say to the patient with kidney stones?

Urine trouble but it'll pass.

Some people had a pet rock when they were younger...

All I got was kidney stones!

I've had kidney stones for my entire life and it seems that they'll always be there forever

They're infinity stones

A man goes to doctor

Man: Why did you take my kidney out?
Doctor: You had kidney stones
Man: Then why didn't you take the stones out instead?
Doctor: I can't sell the stones

Thanos goes to his urologist.

The urologist says, "Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone"

The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen.

Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone.

What happens when a kidney smokes weed?

It gets kidney stoned.

As told by my 11 year old son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a restaurant to drink wine.

When the waiter comes he orders a 1980 wine. The waiter goes to the kitchen, there are almost every type of wine there but can't find a 1980 wine. So he brings a glass of 1970 wine to the customer.
The customer takes a sip from the glass and he says
"This a 1970 wine, go bring me a 1980 wine...

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