A bunch of employees participate in the annual Secret Santa exchange. They all draw a name from the hat. They all say what they want as presents.
A woman stands up and jokingly says “I want a bra for my big globes.”
A man in a serious manner replies “I’ll get you a boob job instead.”
I put two globes between my wife and I. "Why have you done that?" she asked.
I said, "We're worlds apart, honey."
I was pretty mad when they told me my flat earth movie was nominated for an award.
Welcome to the 2018 Golden Globes
Where Hollywood will pat itself on the back and several men will pat Hollywood on the front
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man is away from home and has his house robbed...
He returns to find many of his things missing, including his favorite, a sizeable globe. He's sad over this, and does all he can to get it back, hoping the police find the culprit, checking local globe listings on the globe market to see if anyone's posted the pilfered planet. All to no avail. But o...
Why didn't the flat-earther accept his award at the ceremony?
He didn't believe in golden globes.
So I was walking down the street one day, when an oddly dressed man caught my attention.
He was wearing a long, white, clinical robe and shouting at nearly everybody that came within his proximity. Having foolishly stopped out of curiosity he approached me. “Global Warming is having a drastic effect on the globes axis!”, he yelped. “The rotation of the Earth is speeding up dramatically,...
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds.
I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, "Whoa! I'm way too high!"