UPJOKE
ursa majorzodiacoriontaurusleobig dipperursa minorhydraperseusvirgosagittariusgeminiherculesaquariusstar

Why is Orion's Belt the best part of the constellation?

Because anything else would be more than a waist of space.

I entered a raffle to win a galaxy, but I only won a small group of stars.

It was the constellation prize.

What happens when a star has too much gas?

It gets constellation.

(Maybe it should loosen it's Orion's belt)

I wrote this joke just for this sub, because people wrongly complain there are never any original jokes here: What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?

*Ore-ion*

Legitimate question, what's that canine constellation called?

[SIRIUS]

What was Michael Jackson’s favorite constellation?

Insida minor

The constellation Cassiopeiae is great

5 stars but a terrible joke

There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you

Second place is just a constellation prize

Astrologists are said to be poor interpreters...

but they always find something, if it's any constellation.

If you want to learn constellations, you should learn how to identify Ursa Minor...

- at a bear minimum

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"What's that constellation right there?" "Wait, you seriously don't know?"

Bitch, Pleiades.

I went out to find the big dipper constellation but couldn't find it. I went back inside and did some research before trying again.

The difference was night and day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock Holmes Looks at the Night Sky

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, "Watson, what do you see?"


"Stars and the moon, dear Holmes," he says.


"What does it mean?" Sherlock asks.


"Well," says Watson. "It ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred and George went on a camping trip.

After a long day of trekking, they laid their camp, had dinner and went off to sleep for the night.

Later however, George was awakened by a nudge from Fred.

Fred: What do you see, George?

George: I see the moonless sky, the stars.

Fred: ...and?

George: ..and..the c...

Samantha didn’t get the astronomy scholarship she hoped for.

But the school did name a cluster of stars after her. It was a constellation prize.

If the United States got the moon for winning the space race, what did the Soviet Union recieve for second place?

A constellation prize.

According to Hesiod version, Orion was likely the son of the sea-god Poseidon and Euryale.

Orion could walk on the waves because of his father; he walked to the island of Chios where he got drunk and attacked Merope, daughter of Oenopion, the ruler there. In vengeance, Oenopion blinded Orion and drove him away. Orion stumbled to Lemnos where Hephaestus—the smith-god—had his forge. Hephaes...

A man and his smart aleck child went camping

They set up their tent, and after a long day, they prepared to go to bed

As they lay down on their sleeping bag, the father asked his son: “What do you see?”

The son replied: “I see the big dipper that consists of the seven stars of the Ursa Major, I see the constellation of Cancer, wh...

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2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

What did Orion receive after losing an archery competition?

A constellation prize.

A 13 boy year old spent the previous 10 years of his life living with wolves

He is found, and released back into the human world. He sees wonders he never saw before. He is asking about how cars work, how you're not supposed to eat raw meat, how radio works, the constellations, until one day, he walks in on the couple designated to reintroduce him to human society getting bu...

My Friend Failed Astronomy...

I failed too, if it's any constellation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The terrible 2nd place prize

A girl enters a game show that allows her to win a trip to space and visit the cosmos at the furthest regions of our solar system. The girl must compete in games related to space and physics to determine if she’s got what it takes to go.

After hours of grueling physical and emotional trauma t...

So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...

...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)

Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match?

He was given a constellation prize.

I went to a space museum, because they where having a prize drawing for a car.

I didn't win the car but they gave me a constellation prize.

We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign.

I guess that's a good constellation prize.

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

"Well... If it's any constellation..."

What do you call a group of famous people?

Constellation.

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