UPJOKE
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Constellation Jokes

Why is Orion's Belt the best part of the constellation?

Because anything else would be more than a waist of space.

If you know nothing about constellations at least learn Ursa Minor

...that's the bear minimum.

I entered a raffle to win a galaxy, but I only won a small group of stars.

It was the constellation prize.

The constellation Cassiopeiae is great

5 stars but a terrible joke

What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?

#Ore-ion

I think I made this joke up, but I'm sure the internet will know.

What did the star get when it came in last place?

A constellation prize

What happens when a star has too much gas?

It gets constellation.

(Maybe it should loosen it's Orion's belt)

Legitimate question, what's that canine constellation called?

[SIRIUS]

I went out to find the big dipper constellation but couldn't find it. I went back inside and did some research before trying again.

The difference was night and day.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping

In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up and asks “tell me, Watson, what do you observe?”

Watson replies “it is a clear, cloudless sky. To the east I see the constellation of Orion whereby I can trail the handle of the plough pointing to Polaris, the North Star. As my eyes adjust to ...

There’s a contest going around and if you win 1st place you get a whole solar system named after you

Second place is just a constellation prize

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"What's that constellation right there?" "Wait, you seriously don't know?"

Bitch, Pleiades.

Astrologists are said to be poor interpreters...

but they always find something, if it's any constellation.

If the United States got the moon for winning the space race, what did the Soviet Union recieve for second place?

A constellation prize.

What was Michael Jackson’s favorite constellation?

Insida minor

I wrote this joke just for this sub, because people wrongly complain there are never any original jokes here: What's a ferrous particle's favorite constellation?

*Ore-ion*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock Holmes Looks at the Night Sky

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are laying in their sleeping bags looking up at the midsummer sky. Sherlock turns to Watson and asks, "Watson, what do you see?"


"Stars and the moon, dear Holmes," he says.


"What does it mean?" Sherlock asks.


"Well," says Watson. "It ...

What did Orion receive after losing an archery competition?

A constellation prize.

My Friend Failed Astronomy...

I failed too, if it's any constellation.

A man and his smart aleck child went camping

They set up their tent, and after a long day, they prepared to go to bed

As they lay down on their sleeping bag, the father asked his son: “What do you see?”

The son replied: “I see the big dipper that consists of the seven stars of the Ursa Major, I see the constellation of Cancer, wh...

What do you call a group of famous people?

Constellation.

Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match?

He was given a constellation prize.

I went to a space museum, because they where having a prize drawing for a car.

I didn't win the car but they gave me a constellation prize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred and George went on a camping trip.

After a long day of trekking, they laid their camp, had dinner and went off to sleep for the night.

Later however, George was awakened by a nudge from Fred.

Fred: What do you see, George?

George: I see the moonless sky, the stars.

Fred: ...and?

George: ..and..the c...

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

"Well... If it's any constellation..."

We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign.

I guess that's a good constellation prize.

So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...

...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)

A 13 boy year old spent the previous 10 years of his life living with wolves

He is found, and released back into the human world. He sees wonders he never saw before. He is asking about how cars work, how you're not supposed to eat raw meat, how radio works, the constellations, until one day, he walks in on the couple designated to reintroduce him to human society getting bu...

According to Hesiod version, Orion was likely the son of the sea-god Poseidon and Euryale.

Orion could walk on the waves because of his father; he walked to the island of Chios where he got drunk and attacked Merope, daughter of Oenopion, the ruler there. In vengeance, Oenopion blinded Orion and drove him away. Orion stumbled to Lemnos where Hephaestus—the smith-god—had his forge. Hephaes...

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The terrible 2nd place prize

A girl enters a game show that allows her to win a trip to space and visit the cosmos at the furthest regions of our solar system. The girl must compete in games related to space and physics to determine if she’s got what it takes to go.

After hours of grueling physical and emotional trauma t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

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