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Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one

So, if you don't have one


You're full of shit.

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Opinions are like assholes…

… if an expert tells you there is something wrong with yours, it is best to have it examined.

I hate people who force their opinions down on others!

and so should you…

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Opinions are like buttholes

Everyone has one and I like sharing mine with strangers on the internet.

What starts with O, ends with N I O N S, and makes Americans cry?

Opinions

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Foursome

Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman...

The dead dog

A guy brought his dog into the vet. He didn't want to admit and accept the fact his dog died. The vet told the owner the dog is dead. The guy demanded a 2nd opinion. The vet gets a cat. The cat sniffs the dead dog and said "meow". The vet said the cat agrees the dog is dead. The owner demands a 3rd ...

Friends are like opinions

I don’t know why I have them, but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna change them

In China, citizens *are* allowed to express their own free opinion

So long as the government agrees with it.

You know man, some presidents didn’t give many opinions but...

JFK was pretty open minded

I asked Reddit to letter-grade my looks. Their opinions were wildly different.

I was in tiers.

I want people’s opinions to help me decide something...

I’ve just received an automated phone call saying I’ve won either £250 cash or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute concert. Should I press 1 for the money or 2 for the show?

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They say opinions are like assholes.

Except I've never masturbated to an opinion.

You know what they say about opinions?

Take away the 3.14159265359 and you have onions

Did you hear the joke about the leg?

In my opinions it wasn't very fu-knee.

What? You don't like my joke? I thought it was pretty humerus.

Opinions are like boomers

Everyone’s entitled to them

Wife-Husband Peaceful Relationship

They asked him why your relationship with your wife is always peaceful and no fight ever?! He replied that is because we agreed since the beginning that she takes decisions in small issues leaving me the big ones. For example, she takes decisions in: What house or car to buy; what school we choose f...

What sort of dice has its opinions formed by preconceived notions?

A prejudice

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If opinions really were like assholes

my uncle would show a lot more interest in my opinion.

I never put my unpopular opinions on Reddit.

I guess you could say I'm a Karma Chameleon.

Why can’t sunglasses have political opinions?

Because they’re so polarizing

What is common between Reddit and China?

They both don't like opinions.

What do you call a fast, carnivorous dinosaur with opinions on Hegel and Kant?

A philosoraptor!

People keep telling me I wouldn't value other opinions enough.

Little do they know.

People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.

Well, I beg to differ.

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Political opinions are like assholes

Please don’t dive into yours during Thanksgiving dinner

My life ambition is to have a lot of karma on Reddit.

Unfortunately, it is a hard job. I tried doing it alone first, leaving insightful comments and making quirky posts - but I had no luck. So I decided to ask for advice.

First, I went to a wise guru who had a thousand karma. And I asked him, "Oh wise guru, how do you have so much karma?"
...

Some actors are famous for playing the same role in multiple movies, but none so much as Lee Navarre.

Lee Navarre had starred in a couple of low budget films like Greta's Gallery and Fisherman Flanagan, but no one really took note of him till he was seen in the first movie of the mystery series "When Midnight Chimes". As we all know, it was an instant hit and Navarre gained a lot of critical acclaim...

My friends have started a podcast where they argue about their cheese opinions

It's called "k......so?"

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Political opinions are like penises

It's fine to be proud of it, just don't take it out in public or try to force it down someone else's throat.

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What do political opinions and a penis have in common?

It is rude to bust them out in public...

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Opinions are like orgasms.

I can have one at home using the internet and that’s fine but if I have one at a party everybody asks me to leave.

I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole.

For starters, while South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless!

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Rabbi Eliezer was the most brilliant Rabbi of all time...

Nevertheless, his fellow Rabbis would often disagree with his opinions, leading to lengthy philosophical and theological debates.

During one debate on the subject of the legal minutiae of a religious ritual he found himself at odds with three of his colleagues. While everyone recognized that ...

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