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Opinions Jokes

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Opinions are like assholes…

…most people don’t want to hear about yours.

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Opinions are like assholes

It was fun seeing them on the internet until my uncle started posting his.

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Orgasms are like opinions.

Mine is more important and I don't care if she has one.

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Opinions are like assholes...

if you get paid to share your opinion with the masses, you probably have a pretty big opinion.

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Opinions are like buttholes

It's best to keep it to yourself unless asked

Are you and your wife having different opinions often?

Yes, but she doesn't know.

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Assholes are like opinions....

I wish my wife cared more about mine.

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Opinions are like orgasms.

I can have one at home using the internet and that’s fine but if I have one at a party everybody asks me to leave.

Why smart people with good opinions are poor?

Because they make cents.

I like going to my local church on Sunday and arguing my opinions to the group

You could say that I am a mass debater

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Opinions are like assholes…

… if an expert tells you there is something wrong with yours, it is best to have it examined.

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Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one

So, if you don't have one


You're full of shit.

As an immigration officer, I may not always agree with your opinions.

But…I can see where you are coming from.

Friends are like opinions

I don’t know why I have them, but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna change them

Have you heard about the political party that’s using really good weed to promote their political views and opinions?

It’s propaganja.

I had two opposite opinions at my last hospital appointment

It was a pair o' docs.

My roommates have very strong opinions about lemons

One says lemons are the worst type of citrus.

One says lemons are the absolute best.

Both call them "sublime."

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Political opinions are like penises

It's fine to be proud of it, just don't take it out in public or try to force it down someone else's throat.

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If opinions really were like assholes

my uncle would show a lot more interest in my opinion.

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They say opinions are like assholes.

Except I've never masturbated to an opinion.

Opinions are like boomers

Everyone’s entitled to them

You know what they say about opinions?

Take away the 3.14159265359 and you have onions

I want people’s opinions to help me decide something...

I’ve just received an automated phone call saying I’ve won either £250 cash or 2 tickets for an Elvis Presley tribute concert. Should I press 1 for the money or 2 for the show?

You know man, some presidents didn’t give many opinions but...

JFK was pretty open minded

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Political opinions are like dicks....

Sometimes they lean left, sometimes they lean right, and nobody likes it when your crazy uncle whips his out at Thanksgiving dinner.

Why can’t sunglasses have political opinions?

Because they’re so polarizing

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Opinions are like a penis

You may have one, but just don't whip it out in public

I never put my unpopular opinions on Reddit.

I guess you could say I'm a Karma Chameleon.

People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.

Well, I beg to differ.

I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole.

For starters, while South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless!

I asked Reddit to letter-grade my looks. Their opinions were wildly different.

I was in tiers.

What sort of dice has its opinions formed by preconceived notions?

A prejudice

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What do political opinions and a penis have in common?

It is rude to bust them out in public...

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Opinions are like Dicks..

Everyone's got one except women.

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Opinions are like assholes...

sometimes you need a second asshole

They say there's no opinions in science

But I've seen people get real heated over thermochemistry

And they really melt down when you bring up nuclear engineering

Have you seen how twisted people get when it comes to DNA?

Cartography is the worst, people are just all over the map

You should see how hormonal peop...

My friends have started a podcast where they argue about their cheese opinions

It's called "k......so?"

In China, citizens *are* allowed to express their own free opinion

So long as the government agrees with it.

What starts with O, ends with N I O N S, and makes Americans cry?

Opinions

What do you call a fast, carnivorous dinosaur with opinions on Hegel and Kant?

A philosoraptor!

What do you call a Fat person giving their opinions?

*Weighing in*

My best friend wrote a book about biased opinions.

It's incredible.

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