UPJOKE
newcleansweethotwarmunprocessedgoodoriginalwetsoftfoodcoldcoolrecentrefreshed

What gets fresher as the expiry date approaches?

Expiry date.

A man goes to a bar and orders three pints...

The bartender serves them and the man sits down and proceeds to drink one after the other until all three are gone. He returns the bar and orders three more, drinks them, and then returns to the bar once more...

The bartender says, "you know they'll stay colder and fresher if you order them o...

A guy gets out of his car after crashing it

A policeman walks up to him and asks him what happened. The man replies that he swerved to avoid crashing into a tree. "you sir are drunk" says the policeman. "how do you know that" said the man. "that's and air fresher" said the policeman.

The CEO proudly said that he did "it" 7 times with his wife on his wedding night many years back.

The General Manager next to him said he did it 6 times before going to sleep on 1st night.

All turned towards a fresher Clerk & asked how many times did he do it on his wedding night.

The Clerk replied: Only once Sir!

The CEO laughed n asked WHY?

The Clerk replied: My...

bread like fruitcakes, uneaten.

Onboard a naval ship, the sailors were turning in their food trays with everything eaten but the bread. This upset the mess officer who had baked the bread. When he asked if there was something wrong with the bread, some sailors said it was too hard. The officer would have none of that.

“If C...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady pulls out a condom with a cigarette in it

Her friend asks "Why do you do that?"

She replies "Well it has its benefits...it keeps your cigarettes fresher!"

Fascinated, the friend heads down to the local convenience store and asks the clerk "May I have some condoms please?"

The clerk chuckles but then says "Sure m'am, w...

Timmy Got a Job!

Timmy boy, a young hobo who left home in search for wealth, got his 14th job in the 3 months he has been traveling. His first shift at Bob’s Animal Candies Inc. started at 9 am, Tuesday. After working for hours at the breath fresheners’ line, he began to get bored, so Timmy decided to take a break t...

Julie’s mum and dad had brought her up well...

But now she was off to university and they were worried that their beloved daughter would struggle to maintain their standards once away from parental supervision. Her mum came up with an idea, and extracted a promise from Julie that, before she did anything (eyebrows pointedly raised) for the first...

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