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Refreshing Jokes

The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar....

...and the bartender takes orders. The CEO of Budweiser says "I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says "I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!" ...

It’s refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises.

Although I’m not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I participated in an adult film with the promise of a refreshing soft drink after the shoot.

I got a Squirt.

I love the smell of my f5 key...

It is very refreshing

The tornado may have taken my house but I found it very refreshing

It was an F5

A Priest and a Rabbi a going for a walk.

After some time of walking and because its such a hot Summerday, they decide to go skinny dipping in a Lake nearby.

After a long and refreshing swim, they return to the shore and find their clothes missing.

They both decide to risk it and return home as fast as possible.

As luck...

I tried online dating recently and it is really refreshing. The ladies actually want to get to know you.

Last night my favorite one was asking me really great questions like my first pet's name and the street I grew up on. She even wanted to know about my mom and her maiden name!

There has been much said and sung about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

The Tea of the Tiger was quite a refreshing and pleasant event!

I don’t know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It’s just a refreshing breeze!

I dont really like watching f1 racing anymore

because I find f5 to be more refreshing.

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Frank asked Joe what function key on a Windows PC is used to spell check

Joe responded: “F5”

Frank said “No that’s refreshing my browser page”

Joe said “No look at the window!! Fucking F5!”

Frank angrily replied “DUDE! I’m looking! it’s refreshing the page, not spell check!!”

Frank took some initiative and looked it up himself to find that the...

A man walks into a bar....

and sees that the bars special drink is called the F5.So the guy walks up to the bartender and asks about why the drink is called the F5. The bartender responds,"Oh that's because it's so refreshing"

A Priest and a Rabbi go for a Walk in the Park

As both come by a beautiful lake, the rabbi says: “Let’s take a dip, the water looks refreshing!”

“But we have no trunks”

“Then let’s go in as god has created us.”

Said and done, they go in. After a while, they get out and walk back to their clothes. There, a small group of peop...

*In the ER* "We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"

"How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"

"Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"

A nurse runs up to a doctor

"Doctor, Doctor!" she exclaims. "This patient's blood sugar is crashing!"

"This calls for a cool refreshing beverage!" says the doctor.

The nurse says, "Dr. Pepper! not now."

Three friends are sitting around talking about their boyfriends

The first girl says to the other two, “let’s play a game and say a drink that we like that our boyfriends remind us of. I’ll go first. My boyfriend is like sprite; he’s light and bubbly and sooo refreshing after my last couple relationships.”

The second girl says “ok, umm… mine would be a che...

What do you get when you cross human DNA with whale DNA?

Kicked out if Sea World apparently.


Joke credit: u/refreshing_username

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A guy sees an attractive girl in a cafe and walks up to her...

Without knowing what to say he stood still and just stared at her for a few seconds. After a while he said. "Are you sitting on the F5 key or something cause your ass is refreshing."

Another Irish joke involving beer

While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, "Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!" Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told her, "I wa...

Today, I finally went out for a movie

Going to the living room from my bedroom felt so refreshing

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

The first Water movie was great.

Yesterday I saw H2O 1 and it was refreshing. Today I heard that the critics are saying the second one is a killer one.

A man was traveling through the desert on his camel

The sun was shining hot and unforgiving and the man was sweating immensly.

"oh i cant bear this sun, its so hot"

Suddenly a guy on a bicycle drives past him with insane speed. The man on the camel is shocked and suprised how the man can drive so fast in this heat.

After an hour...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girl are you sitting on an F5 key?

Cause that ass is refreshing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

The bar tender pours him a glass, when suddenly his drink starts talking to him.

“Go back to your family you filthy alcoholic.” the drink shouts.

The man stares. Stunned, he asks “You can talk?!”

“Yeah I can talk!” The drink says “Take it you’re a bright one.”
“I beg your...

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My girlfriend sat on my keyboard...

I told her, " You must be sitting on the F5 key, because that ass is refreshing." ...

She said, "No it's Alt +F4". I just got shut down.

Off With The Panties

Two neighbor women are taking their weekly walk together, when one of the women begins to complain about the heat.

The other lady states, "I took my panties off three blocks ago, and now I'm much cooler. You should really try it." "I don't know. That seems kind of weird, but I guess I'll try...

What is one of Thanos’ favorite things to drink?

A Snapple!

Edit: Slogan
“After a hard earned Snapture, drink a refreshing Snapple! “

Men vs Women

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop,...

When I turned 25, mom finally let me drink for the first time!

Who knew water was so refreshing!

The Little Research Lab Bunny Rabbit

One morning at the research lab, an assistant accidentally left a cage open while cleaning and a little bunny rabbit escaped when he wasn't looking. The little bunny rabbit followed the assistant out of the room, down the hallway, and right out the door.

The little bunny rabbit looked around...

I Googled a picture of purified water.

It’s still refreshing.

During a hot summer, a man goes through a McDonald's drive through and orders several cold drinks...

He repeats this process several times a day for a few days.
After the 4th day, a McDonald's manager decides to investigate why this man is buying so many drinks. He asks the man "why do you keep buying so many drinks when you could just go to a grocery store and get them cheaper?"

The man...

Have you tried Gatorade's newest sports drink, F5?

It's very refreshing

I spent the last hour repeatedly pressing F5

It's pretty refreshing.

I like to press the F5 key repeatedly...

I just find it very....refreshing.

OK I'll show myself out

My friends say that too much of today's news can be discouraging--they say my habit of constantly reloading the CNN app will make me depressed.

but I think it's refreshing.

My friend with OCD keeps hitting F5...

he says he finds it refreshing.

I told him he needs help,

now he keeps hitting F1.

(edit- thanks to r/supremesnicker for the better punchline.)

I made a line of soda called Bad Wifi

It's not doing so well, everyone keeps saying it isn't refreshing.

Has anyone had a glass of F5 lately?

It's so refreshing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A computer joke...

...

01:25PM <grifter> go up to a girl and ask,"are you sitting on the F5 key" ,
"because thast ass is refreshing."

[01:26pm] <Ant> haha

...

01:26PM <Ant> Did you make that up?

...

01:27PM <grifter> LimitlessEXP

01:...

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Two gentlemen walk into a bar and sit down. The first man asks the bartender for some "H2O."

The second man, nodding in agreement says, "I'll have some H2O too."

The bartender quickly gets their drinks together and sets it down in front of them. The first man takes a sip of water and comments how refreshing that was.

The second man pulls out a knife and stabs the first man a b...

A man in a business suit walks into a bar during normal working hours

He yells "Barkeep! I'll have a shot and a beer"

Bartender pours his drinks and slides them over to the man.

The man pounds the shot and takes a sip of his beer. He smiles at the barkeeper and says, "That's certainly refreshing after the day I've had"

The Bartender replies, "I wa...

A man stumbles into r/Jokes

He looks around, refreshing his window, switching from hot to new, from new to top. His face furrows in disgust.

"These aren't even clever, they're just repetitive, poorly executed punchlines with variations in the setup in order to get karma quick."

He calls over his eleven year old s...

A rabbit escapes a laboratory

Upon running away he stumbles across a group of rabbits in a field. The leader welcomes him and says 'the outside world isn't like the lab, you can do what you want here, try some of the grass'. The grass tasted like nothing the rabbit had tasted before, it was so refreshing and tasty. He then went ...

A Bulgarian, an Arabian and a Hollander are sitting in a bar.

First, the Bulgarian drinks his beer, throws his glass in the air, grabs his pistol and shoots it in pieces.

"In Bulgaria, glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice."

Next, the Arabian drinks his strong liquor, throws his glass in the air, grabs his A...

A penguin is driving through the Arizona desert when his car breaks down

He pulls into a nearby mechanic station in search of assistance.

The mechanic catches a quick glimpse of the car and tells the penguin, "I'll go ahead and check it out. Come back in about 30 minutes and I'll have a diagnosis for you."

"Alright then," replies the penguin as he waddles o...

A priest and a rabbi go for a walk...

A rabbi and a catholic priest are going for a walk on a hot summer's day, when they pass a little pool in the midst of a forest.
The rabbi suggests: "Hey let's hop in here so we can refresh ourselves!"
- "But I don't even have trunks with me", the priest answered.
"Me neither", the rabbi s...

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A shy 8th grader has a wooden eye.

He was born with only one working eye and constantly feels insecure about his condition which he is ridiculed for by the rest of his class. But he is not the only person in the class subject to the class' tormentors. There also happens to be a young girl in the class who is frequently made fun of fo...

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