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Flushing Jokes

I suspect that my son has been flushing his blunts down the toilet.

No wonder my water bill is so high.

A policeman searched me in a nightclub toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"It's not my fault," I said, "every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.

I said, "I can prove it to you if you want me to."

"Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.
...

Why does Drax avoid automatically flushing toilets?

They flush early when he stands still.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During a water shortage, the government encouraged us to piss in the shower to save the water from flushing

I now have to shower 3-4 times a day and it’s not clear to me how this is helping with the water shortage…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a Ouija board recently from a strange old man...

I got it home, laid out the pieces and before I could even ask it a question the planchette started to move around, it eventually spelt

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE TO YOU


'What is your message?' I asked.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

Fear started flushing over me, 'Why s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a kid I used to be scared of flushing toilets

I ended up having to face my fear because I didn't feel like dealing with this shit.

I'm heavily invested in a depreciating asset and it feels like I'm just flushing my stock away

Does anyone know where I can find more toilet paper?

My girlfriend told me I was disgusting for licking the bowl after I finished.

I guess she's used to most people just flushing.

Employee comes back from a business trip to Brazil

Boss: How was your trip?

Employee: It was fine but I don’t like Brazil. The whole country is nothing but soccer players and hookers.

Boss: You do know that my wife is Brazilian, right?

Employee (flushing): Oh really? Which team does she play for?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A shitty Joke

a guy has a crush on a beautiful woman. He shoot his shot, goes on a date and gets invited back to her house. Before anything happens he goes to the washroom. Pooping goes well. Flushing doesn't go well. He scoops the shit and puts in the cat's shit dish which is outside the washroom. The woman find...

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