UPJOKE
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I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.

I wasn’t suited to be a tailor.

The muffler factory was just exhausting.

I couldn’t cut it as a barber.

I didn’t have the patience to be a doctor.

I wasn’t a good fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.

The paper shop folded. Pool maintenance...
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My wife complained that long baths feel draining

So I got her a plug.
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I just lost 150 pounds of useless, life draining fat

I got a divorce.
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I once had a job cleaning other people's pools...

It started off swimmingly, but soon it got to be too draining.
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I tried installing a calendar app but accidentally installed a colander .

It keeps draining my battery.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every day, thousands of people come into this country and begin draining our resources. They don’t pay taxes, have no skills, and not even a basic grasp of our language.

Babies are fucking useless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Men sometimes call their penis a Trouser Snake.

But when peeing they say they're Draining the Lizard.

Do they have a Reptile dysfuction?

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company

But the work was just too draining.
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My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.
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Me: I was recently diagnosed with Hyphil. My Wife: What’s Hyphil?

Me: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape that can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Fl...
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I felt super exhausted after giving blood.

It's such a draining procedure.
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Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.
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