Filters Jokes - 15 Hilarious Filters Jokes

D’y’ know why Batman has all those cool doodads in his utility belt: smoke bombs, grease slicks, nose plugs/filters for poison gas, breath mints?

Because he doesn’t have pockets.

TIL You can watch the sun through a telescope without any filters.

Only twice though...

I changed all of the filters in my house today.

The difference was really a breath of fresh air.

Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe?

So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in.

I got fired from Starbucks for not changing the coffee filters.

It was grounds for dismissal.

My Uncle Jackie turned 80 years young today. He loves telling jokes. Here is one he tells every Thanksgiving, and it gets a huge laugh every time. Enjoy, and Happy birthday Uncle Jackie!

A 75 year old man, his hair is completely white, marries a 22 year old girl and she gets pregnant. Nine months later he is siting in the maternity ward, talking to the nurse.

"Hey! Well how'd I do?"

The nurse says "she had twins!"

"Hehehe! Just goes to show, even if there is ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian captain and an American captain debate which country builds the best submarines...

They are standing at a harbor and they've been arguing for hours. The American says "Our subs have such efficient air filter systems that they can stay underwater for months at a time".

The Russian replies:"A few months? Laughsble. Our Russian subs have such advanced air filters that they ca...

Starbucks is missing out on a huge business opportunity by NOT selling masks that you can drink through.

They could call them coughy filters.

Patient: Doctor, can you cure my body image issues?

Doctor: Have you tried using filters?

Starbucks Reacts to Covid-19: Baristas to start wearing masks

Our as they call them, coughee filters.

So I guess there was this rancher who was growing a really weird breed of cattle.

They were a really vivid blue green color. No one could believe it... They thought he was airbrushing them or painting them or using Instagram filters or photoshop.

Finally an fda inspector--Neal Beal was his name--wanted to go out to the ranch and see for himself whether these cows were re...

A tourist was passing through a town in the heat of summer.

He wanted to be sure the water was good to drink, so he asked a local. “Oh, yes,” they assured him. The tourist then asked the local what made them so sure. "Well," they answered, "first we filters it, then we takes out the harmful minerals, then we puts it through some chemical process, and then we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The long troubles of Nelson Mandela (LONG)

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by an Asian man clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" while pointing at a truckful of car exhausts. Mr Mandela says, "I believe you have the wrong address" and shuts the door. T...

Adblocking software

So these IT professionals were discussing the new internet protection softwares they were installing at work.

The first one says “my new system blocks ads, and with Godzilla level protection refuses to show images with flesh tones.”

The next one says “my new system blocks ads, and wit...

An old man marries his young girlfriend...

...and naturally everyone is skeptical about the legitimacy of this relationship. He's wrinkled and arthritic, and she's a hot young blond barely into her 20's.

His brother asks, "How can you keep up with her in the bedroom?"

He puffs out his skinny old-man chest and says "My skin m...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.