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A Blonde takes her car to the mechanic

While the mechanic is fiddling with the engine the blonde comes over and asks him if he knows what is wrong.

He replies: "Shit in the carburetor"

She replies: "Okay how often do I need to do that?"

Saw my violin teacher on the 9 o’clock news

He was fiddling with the kids

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An Irishman goes to the doctor's surgery ...

and he says to the doctor "Top o' the morning Doc, I've got a little problem. It's a pain like, in me arse."

So the doctor says "Well we'd better have a look at it. Take your trousers and pants down."

After the patient assumes the position the doctor gets a rubber glove, some lubrican...

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Family of three were watching TV on evening.

The young son was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, fiddling with a yogurt packet. He couldn't get the lid off.

"Stupid fucking yogurt," the son muttered while he was struggling with the yogurt lid.

The mother was appalled, knowing that her husband too has a horrible mouth. Sh...

Two blondes on the parking

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while.

Finally one gets ...

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A man walks into a bar and finds an octopus sitting on a stool...

The bartender tells the man "This octopus is really special. You can give it any instrument and it will play it better than any human ever has."

So the guy needs to test this out. Luckily the bar keeps some instruments on hand for just that purpose. The man grabs a guitar and brings it to the...

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A guy walks into a jazz bar with an octopus on his shoulder.

He orders a couple of beers, and after a few moments the bartender, head cocked, says, "Buddy, I don't mean to be coarse, but what's with the octopus?"

"This octopus?" the guy begins, thumbing at his octopodine companion, "Oh this guy is a musical virtuoso. He'd play any instrument you have h...

The Pope is going to start a Bluegrass band at the Vatican.

He says he likes fiddling with the kids.

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

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I rear-ended a car going to work this morning.

I was fiddling with the radio and hit the car in front of me. Not hard, but it did a little damage. I was surprised to see the driver's door of the car I hit open, and out stepped a little person marching towards me with a very pissed off expression on his face. As I got out of my car, he says, "I'm...

My music teacher got arrested today

He was fiddling A minor

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