Fedex

Fedex is like my ex, no communication, no respect for my stuff, it never seems to come and somehow it makes me think it's my fault.

I love my FedEx guy

cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.

A FedEx driver, UPS driver, and USPS driver walk into a bar...

Nevermind, you wouldn't get the delivery from the FedEx driver.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me penis is called FedEx.

Because my package is beaten to a pulp, handled poorly and sometimes, complaints that it doesn't deliver at all.

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging.

They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Did you hear the joke about the FedEx package?

I didn't get it.

A friend who works for FedEx told me how to tell a decent joke.

It's all about the delivery.

Hey guys did you know FedEx and UPS are merging?

The postal service is gonna be FedUp

With all the havoc that Christmas deliveries bring, FedEx and UPS decided to come together.

Now they're FedUp.

Due to a huge increase in deliveries, FedEx and UPS have joined forces

And are now fed-up

After a long search, I finally got a job with FedEx.

OP delivers.

I'm starting a service helping people break up with their significant others over dinner

I'm calling it FedEx

The Washington Redskins' stadium being sponsored by FedEx makes a lot of sense.

Neither delivers on Sundays.

When my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I was older, I said, "a postman". They laughed and said I should have more ambition, but now I'm 33 and work at FedEx.

OP delivers!

Still waiting for the FedEx joke?

OP didn't deliver.

What do you call an Indian Fedex worker?

A curry-er.

FedEx and UPS tried working together once

Didn't last long as they became FedUp.

As a Fedex driver myself, I thought this was really funny. The punchline might not make sense to you guys though, because...

OP delivers.

I would tell you a FedEx joke...

but you'd probably wouldn't receive it until a week or so.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy

I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again.

What's funny about a FedEx guy telling a joke about his truck full of Nitrous oxide?

There is nothing funny about the joke, it's his delivery.

***Breaking News*** UPS and FedEx set to merge this Friday!

...They're going to call it: FedUp

What did the comedy club proprietor say to the FedEx guy?

The jokes are ok but you need to work on your delivery.

A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day.

“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”

“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”

Did you hear that the unions for Bridgestone, FedEx, and UPS are pushing for a merger?

They wanted to be rebranded as The Local Tired and FedUp.

What a common problem with r/jokes and FedEx?

Delivery

Got fired on my first day with the ambulance today

I don't know what happened but they asked me how i deliver a baby and i answered "fedex".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I posted this joke 3 days ago

Fucking FedEx

I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke...

But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You are moving cross country. FedEx agrees to fly all your belongings over. During the flight the plane is unable to maintain lift.

The pilot asks you to lose some baggage. What do you lose ?

The fridge.

Why ?

Cause it's heavy. Why is the fridge heavy ?

Cause it has a fucking giraffe in it.

Created a profile on Tinder

when I was in California and in my bio had California >< Florida on it. Got a match who said she right swiped because she wanted a parcel delivered from California to Florida . Apparently I have been Fedex zoned .

They say that jokes are all about the delivery

I think that is codswallop because no one finds FedEx or DHL funny.

Did you hear about the new shipping company merger?

COVID has skyrocketed the demand for delivery services, causing an unforeseen merger in the works. To ensure the people get the best package delivery and express service, UPS and FedEx are joining forces...and they are calling themselves FedUp (:


(My dad made this joke up a long time ago...

What do you call a dinner with someone you met in tumblr?

FedEx

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