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Fedex Jokes

Fedex

Fedex is like my ex, no communication, no respect for my stuff, it never seems to come and somehow it makes me think it's my fault.

A man is explaining to his coworker that he never realized how much his wife loved him until he was home sick from work the previous day.

“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”

“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging.

They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Here's a FedEx joke

Actually, you'll get it tomorrow

I love my FedEx guy

cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.

Did you hear about the FedEx - UPS merger?

The new company's gonna be called FedUp.

Still waiting for the FedEx joke?

OP didn't deliver.

A friend who works for FedEx told me how to tell a decent joke.

It's all about the delivery.

What do you call an Indian Fedex worker?

A curry-er.

I would tell you a FedEx joke...

but you'd probably wouldn't receive it until a week or so.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy

I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again.

Messing with FedEx

So, for work, I have schedule FedEx pickups a lot. Recently I decided to have some fun with it. When I fill out the form, I put a strange name in the contact info. I'm just going to go until they notice.

Day One: Lord Farquaad
Day Two: Princess Humperdink

So far nothing.

An...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the new FedEx sex position?

You wait for ages and nothing comes.

The Washington Redskins' stadium being sponsored by FedEx makes a lot of sense.

Neither delivers on Sundays.

Hey guys did you know FedEx and UPS are merging?

The postal service is gonna be FedUp

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I posted this joke 3 days ago

Fucking FedEx

Due to a huge increase in deliveries, FedEx and UPS have joined forces

And are now fed-up

***Breaking News*** UPS and FedEx set to merge this Friday!

...They're going to call it: FedUp

FedEx and UPS tried working together once

Didn't last long as they became FedUp.

With all the havoc that Christmas deliveries bring, FedEx and UPS decided to come together.

Now they're FedUp.

Why did FedEx and Ups Merge?

because they where FedUp.

Got fired on my first day with the ambulance today

I don't know what happened but they asked me how i deliver a baby and i answered "fedex".

I know a great joke about a FedEx plane

but it's probably over your head.

As a Fedex driver myself, I thought this was really funny. The punchline might not make sense to you guys though, because...

OP delivers.

I'm starting a service helping people break up with their significant others over dinner

I'm calling it FedEx

I wanted to tell you a FedEx joke...

But there was already one yesterday, and I don't want you to get FedUp.

What's funny about a FedEx guy telling a joke about his truck full of Nitrous oxide?

There is nothing funny about the joke, it's his delivery.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You are moving cross country. FedEx agrees to fly all your belongings over. During the flight the plane is unable to maintain lift.

The pilot asks you to lose some baggage. What do you lose ?

The fridge.

Why ?

Cause it's heavy. Why is the fridge heavy ?

Cause it has a fucking giraffe in it.

my boss thinks I'm an idiot

But he's the idiot. just the other day he told me to go into the front office and to bring him the tube oxes that had just arrived. I wasn't sure what a tube ox was, but I informed him that the plural would be "tube oxen." Worse, all I found was a couple of FedEx packages..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you a package?

Cause I’d like to fedex your box to bangcock.

They say that jokes are all about the delivery

I think that is codswallop because no one finds FedEx or DHL funny.

Did you hear about the new shipping company merger?

COVID has skyrocketed the demand for delivery services, causing an unforeseen merger in the works. To ensure the people get the best package delivery and express service, UPS and FedEx are joining forces...and they are calling themselves FedUp (:


(My dad made this joke up a long time ago...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy had been born with no arms, no legs, and no torso; just a head.

Needless to say, life was tough for the little fella. His parents; wonderful people; would take him everywhere. They would feed and care for him as best they could. They traveled the world looking for a doctor who could help their little boy in any way. But for many years, they got only regretful re...

What do you call a dinner with someone you met in tumblr?

FedEx

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