Costco is like my ex

Cheap and giving free samples to everyone

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What does costco and prostitutes have in common?

They both do wholesale

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Guys Be careful! I've been a victim of a clever scam while at Costco parking...

Don't be naive enough to think, it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20+ year girls come over to your car as you are loading your vehicle. They both start roaming around ur car n looking for their lost keys ,with their breasts almost falling...

After getting lost in the huge Costco, I couldn’t find my wife after25 minutes looking for her....

I went up to a very attractive woman and I told her: I lost my wife

The woman looked at me: I don’t know how talking to me is going to help you find your wife

I said, just wait 3, 2, 1... my wife rounds the corner, hey honey what are you doing?

Why doesn't Costco sell children?

Because nobody wants that many kids.

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Kirkland Nutra Nuggets dog chow

for my loyal pet, Brista, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probabl...

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Costco Parking Lot Advice

I noticed someone posted about a woman scamming people and it reminded me of a situation I had this afternoon at Costco.

There are these two beautiful Swedish twins that will offer you sex in the parking lot. While the one sister is working on you, the other will steel your wallet.

Now...

Costco worker asked if I wanna box for my groceries

No bro, I’m just trying to pay for them, everyone’s so violent these days.

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Lost in Costco a young man and an old man

Lost in Costco

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Costco when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a ...

A married couple is shopping at Costco...

The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?", the wife asks.
"It's on sale for twenty dollars," explains the husband.
"I don't care," says the wife, "we're on a budget. Put it back."
A couple of aisles later the wife puts a $50 containe...

The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I’m buying a giant tub of whiteout.

Big mistake.

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Today, I saw a guy with two big containers of laxitive coming out of Costco.

And I though, I bet that guy is full of crap.

I saw two coworkers at the Costco butcher station being unfriendly to each other.

It seemed like there was some beef between them

Costco is out of Cat Litter.

Are people getting that desperate?

To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash.

I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue

Even though it’s a surplus store, I’m pretty proud of myself for going into Costco and purchasing only ONE item.

A single package of 160 AA batteries.

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I just came home from Costco

I witnessed a man whose trolley was full to the brim with hand sanitiser, baby wipes, soaps, everything that people need!

I said "You're a selfish bastard! The elderly, disabled, and parents of young children desperately need these types of things! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

H...

The real reason not all Costco’s sell ice...

they don’t want to refund every person with a cup of water.

I get all of my condoms at Costco because when you go through them like I do...

... you need to get them at a place with a good return policy.

When you throw away your receipt before leaving Costco

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave

Costco stock was down today more than $6

Nobody bought their shares in bulk.

Recent crime perpetrated at Costco

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie...

Went to Costco to pick up some groceries. I am on the low carb diet but wanted something salty to snack on. Checked aisle by aisle for almonds or pistachios or cashews but they were all out.

Guess it is no nut November.

I went to Costco the other day...

As I was checking out the cashier asked me " Do you wanna box?"

I said "No, but I'll wrestle you!"

Why do pimps like shopping at Costco?

They can buy everything hoesale.

New Automated Doctor At Costco

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

“Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco.

Just give it a urine sample and the computer wi...

Yo mamas so fat

She can steal from Costco

People who eat Tide Pods are idiots.

The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying.

"Dad why did you and mom name my sister Rose?"

Dad: "because your mother loves Roses"

Son: "oh, ok, thanks Dad"

Dad: "No problem Costco Hotdog"

Why is it so loud in Costco?

Everything comes in high volumes.

My dad left a couple years ago to go buy milk

He’s still at Costco to this day

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New Scam on Senior Men

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco,...

Where do you find rappers in the middle of the day?

Costco for all the free samples

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