UPJOKE
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If Trump is so worried about border security, maybe he should take Prozac.

You know, for Hispanic attacks.

I was so depressed that I decided to kill myself by taking a thousand Prozac tablets.

But after taking the first two I felt so much happier.

After five years of living in utter despair, a young man finally found the key to lifelong happiness.

It was Prozac.

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3 Dogs are sitting in a Vet's office...

3 dogs are in the waiting room at a Vet's office.

One dog asks another, "what are you here for?"

The dog replies, "I'm a chewer. I chew furniture, I chew the kids toys, I chew my own . So they're gonna put me on Doggy Prozac"

He asks the first dog, "what are you here for?"...

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Prolax is a new antidepressant...

It's half prozac and half laxatives.

So that you can't help but give a .

long. Two cops lead an unfortunate man into a padded cell

Instantly the men in white coats grab him, wrench his arms behind his back and, when he screams in pain, the psychiatrist tears down his trousers and jags him with a needle.

As they're carrying the unconcious body out the younger of the cops, shocked, says:

"Was that really necessary? ...

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Ten Thoughts

Number 10 Life is transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and . If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...
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