Bangkok Jokes - 36 Hilarious Bangkok Jokes

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room.

And never visited Bangkok again.

Girls in Bangkok are like a box of chocolates.

You never know which one has nuts.

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A man takes a vacation in Bangkok

While he is there, he is approached by a"bar girl". She is beautiful and the price is too low to turn down, so the man agrees to the "$2 special"
Back home in America a couple weeks later, the man is peeing and to his horror, he sees his has turned green! He immediately schedules an appoint...

In America, men bang women.

In Thailand, women Bangkok.

This one’s true. A work colleague of mine told me she went to Bangkok on her honeymoon. I replied,

I know you did, but where did you go?

Why did the couple get married in Bangkok?

Because they wanted to Thai the knot.

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I applied to manage the US Naval sperm bank in Bangkok. The interviewer said they couldn’t hire me, because I was a domestic civilian.

He said only an overseas seaman oversees overseas seamen overseas.

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Don’t get a

I remember I got on a bus in Bangkok and this beautiful woman got on and sat down across from me. I kept thinking “don’t get a . Don’t get a ”. Sure enough, she did.

I was on vacation in Bangkok

I was on vacation in Bangkok and had lunch at a restaurant called "Thai Tanic".
The restaurant's slogan was: "Food that goes down easy."

My girlfriend broke up with me because I kept referencing the song One Night in Bangkok for reasons why I didn't want to take a vacation there.

It's just me now and my Thai trope act without Annette.

Two kids from bangkok have a race, who wins?

Its a thai.

I bought a shabby little place in Bangkok above a nice restaurant.

It was a bad Thai pad, but good pad Thai

Why is it a bad idea for Bangkok to hold the Olympics?

Because all of the events will end with Thais.

On the train in Bangkok....

...a young, long-haired, Thai sat down directly opposite me & started putting on lipstick.

I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection."

But he did.

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What do you call in Bangkok?

Hen-Thai

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Free tonight

At a travel agency in Bangkok, I asked the Thai girl behind the counter if she could me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,

" , wan free for tonight".
...

What do you call an impatient man from Bangkok who moved to the capital city of the Republic of China for a writing job, got kidnapped, covered in multicolored paint and restrained with rope?

A , tye-dyed, Type-A, Taipei-Thai typist.

I was gonna take a trip to Bangkok...

But then I thought Phuket

Confucius say…..

Man who go through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok

I slept with a woman in Bangkok, Thailand. But I didn't discover what she was until we finished...

Turns out, she was Canadian.

The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves

So they wouldn’t Bangkok.

Arranging a business trip.

"Hello I need to book a business trip to Thailand."

"Are you going to Bangkok?"

"No, I'm just going to Phuket."

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently.

A friend went for Thai massage in Bangkok recently. He requested for two masseurs, one for him and another for his wife.

After massaging the man for a long time, the Thai massuer said, "Massage pinis". He kept ghastly quiet pretending not to have heard it.

Again, the massuer repeated h...

I was at a barber shop in Bangkok and I asked to get my hair dyed, and for the barber to surprise me. I noticed that it was taking a bit longer than hair dyeing normally would, and when I looked at the finished job in the mirror, I noticed that they were in rainbow swirls.

When I asked the barber, "What is this?" he told me,"Well, it's a Thai dye."

What do men in Thailand say when they can’t get girls?

“Phuket! I’m just going to Bangkok instead!”

My blond friend once used “GokuBatmanHulkPikachuBakugouLucinaMulanAangBangkok” as his e-mail password.

He said that his password needed 8 Characters with 1 Capital.

"Trick or Treat" refers to Halloween...

...but it also describes potential outcomes of taking an attractive Bangkok waitress back to your hotel room.

If people in Bangkok had a favorite NFL team, what team would they root for?

The Thai-tans

Made in Thailand

Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok?

He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger.

~

Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok?

It was a Thai.

What's the worst word to get in charades?

Bangkok

Competitions.

How did the Bread contest end? Stalemate.

What about the weed smoking contest? There were *joint* winners!

What about the competition to see who could locate Bangkok the quickest on a map? Was a Thai.

And that sketching contest? A draw.

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The pickup line of Cecil the cavalier

Cecil is a young British aristocrat who loves horse-riding but is terribly shy.

On his daily trot around Hyde Park, he frequently sees a beautiful girl riding a jet-black Morgan horse but can’t pluck up the courage to approach her.

One evening he’s having a beer with his friend Charles...

It's a Boy! James shouted, It's a Boy!!! i still can't believe it! ..with tears rolling down ,James came running out

.....swearing never ever to come back to Bangkok again! xD

German Gameshow

edit: Helps to read this poem out loud :D

There was a popular German gameshow where contestants would take part in various activities for a grand prize of 1 million euro.

After a very successful run it was time for the final episode and there were only two contestants left: an old...

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...

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A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

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