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Walgreens Jokes

The princess at Walgreens

A princess was coming into Walgreens every day, standing at the photo department, waiting for her photos to get developed.

After seeing her doing this for so many days in a row, a kind employee asked if he could help her with anything. She shook her head sadly, and.

"Someday my prints...

What is Walgreens without its W?

A vegetarian restaurant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a Walgreens and asked where the tampons were.

Cashier: "Aisle 5."

Minutes later the man returned with a bag of cotton balls and some string.

Cashier: "I thought you were buying tampons."

Man: "I was, and then I got to thinking about something. The other day I asked my wife to pick me up some cigarettes while she was out, an...

Why is KKR trying to buy Walgreens?

They tried to buy CVS but then receipt would be too long.

Why are CVS and Walgreens usually on the corners?

Because drug dealers usually prefer corners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends go to Vegas

But lost their wallets, between them they now only have $8.00.

The first friend says “give me the money, I have a great idea”

He goes into Walgreens and comes out with a bag

Second friend grabs it and looks inside and sees a box of tampons. He says “that’s great, you waste our l...

Guy paying for condoms at Walgreens got asked if he needed a bag

He said back to cashier, "Nah, her face ain't that bad."

I was at Walgreens this morning and I overheard an 80+ year old man tell a joke to the cashier. “You know the thing about dating now is...”

“I never get to meet their parents!”

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I was offered sex today...

...with a 75 year old sugar momma. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanill...

I'd like to think that my girlfriend and I have a relationship that is above being forced to buy simple gifts as part of a made up holiday that exploits working class people through the commercialism of enormous corporations

But I'd also like to get laid tomorrow night, so Walgreens after work it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband forgot to buy his wife a Christmas present...

So early on Christmas morning the man quietly gets up and rushes to Walgreens to find something.

In the store, he runs to the only worker and describes his situation. He wants to get his wife something quickly and get home before she wakes up and notices he’s gone.

The worker underst...

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[Long] [NSFW] Three couples wanted to join a very strict church.

As they met with with the Membership Committee, the Lead Elder told them they could join if they passed a simple test of purity.

"All you need to do it abstain from sexual intercourse for six months," he said. "Do that and you are in."

Six months passed and the three couples returned t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I live about a four miles from my favorite pub - The Horse Brass.

It’s a 10 minute drive. I had a couple pints with my buddies and walked out to the car, and realized I needed to take a piss. Walk back? Nah, just get home, it’s 10 minutes.

About halfway home I realized the beer pee was filling fast so I pulled in behind the Walgreens where the dumpsters ar...

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