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Deary Jokes

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An elderly couple stands at the counter at the local burger joint. The man orders a deluxe burger, large fries, and a cup of decaf. The counter clerk turns to the woman and asks her what she would like.

“Oh, nothing for me, deary. My husband and I share everything.'”

The clerk hits a...

A teenager confesses to her mother

T: "I have decided to run away and elope with Marty the mail man"

M: "Oh, but honey he could be your father"

T: "I don't care, he loves me, age is just a number"

M: "Oh no, deary, I didn't mean it that way..."

A naked girl walks into a bar and orders a drink.

Bartender looks her up and down and with a wink says,how you plan on paying for your drinks deary?
She lifts her legs and spreads them on the bar giving the bartender a real good look and says, Is this good enough for payment?
He looks down at her crotch and say's....got anything smaller.

An Irish girl came home with a depressed look on her face.

Her mother says "What's wrong m'deary?" Her daughter says "I've got a case of chlamydia.".

The mother says "Tis fine love. Put it down in the cellar. Your father will drink anything.".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball....

....but didn't have all the right gear - suddenly her fairy godmother appears and grants her all her wishes... "But remember deary, be home by midnight, or else your vagina will turn into a pumpkin"... She agrees and goes off to the ball, has a great time and meets Prince Charming....... but he's qu...

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