UPJOKE
aficionadoloverenthusiastgroupiedevoteebuffsports fanfollowerbaseballblowerstrike outpartisancrazycrowdplayer

My girlfriend has made so much money since she's been on OnlyFans that I've got a new car and a set of custom golf clubs

I do worry that someone will recognize her in public and tell her she's on it though.

My OnlyFans page hasn't been very lucrative

I'm going to have to start a MostlyFans page to increase my clientele.

Why don't you ever see a group of Johnny Depp fans?

They don't like Heards.

Hey, did you hear about the Star Wars fanatic who's been stealing autograph books and photo albums from other fans at conventions?

They call him the fan-tome menace.

A Fellow Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms. The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only...

French Star Wars fans have something to look forward to every week....

Each Thursday is the Return of the Jeudi.

What do you say when 2 fans of Bono tell you they love you?

I love you too you two U 2 fans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe DCU fans wanted to ban Amber Heard

From their movies there seems to be no better place to shit the bed.

I tried only fans for a bit, but...

My house was still too hot so I ended up getting a new AC system.

There once was a man named Mr. Evans who pursued a law degree, even though his passion was music. All through law school, he yearned to drop out and play in a cover band, singing Beatles songs all night to a crowd of fans. Eventually, though the man became a lawyer instead.

Through the years, he became a highly esteemed practicioner of law. He rose in his practice of jurisprudence until one day he even became a county judge. He came home and told his wife that he still wasn’t satisfied. Despite everything, singing the Beatles was still his dream. She told her next door...

For Star Trek fans. A Romulan man, a Ferengi businessman, a ravishing Human woman and a homely Bajoran are sharing a compartment on an old train as it makes its way through the mountains.

Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Ferengi is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The Bajoran thinks "I bet that dirty...

My wife asked why I had the only fans app on my phone.

I responded to fund her sisters college tuition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy.

The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you bein...

why is it so cold in a stadium

Because there are lots of fans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OnlyFans has just announced that it is removing all pornography on october 1st.

I suggested they change their name to LonelyFans, but i dunno

Everyone has a film that made them emotional.

For me it was TITANIC... Because not only do you get a beautiful love story, but also... I'm was like... \*emotional\*

"Look - So many fans of the Wim Hof Method!"

What do wind turbines think of renewable energy?

They're big fans

I really think OSHA should make an OnlyFans account

They're some of the leading experts in NSFW content after all

My wife quit her job last year...

To pursue a career in, what I can only assume, is a pyramid scheme. I was worried at first because I don't understand how anyone can make money selling *only* fans, but she raked in 100k last year so I guess she's got a knack for it.

Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans.

Because our air conditioner broke.

And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner.

Good news! Now that OnlyFans is getting rid of adult content

Your local restaurants will be able to hire servers again.

OnlyFans launched a new step sibling content adult website...

They call it OnlyFams!

After the invention of time travel, many historic figures were brought to the present to experience modern culture with varying degrees of success.

George Washington nearly had a heart-attack because of the current state of the two party system, Napoleon tried to conquer Europe once more, and Alfred Einstein became an avid redditer, amongst many other historic events.

But out of all the crazy things happening because of time travel, the ...

The NFL should start showing Dallas Cowboys games on the history channel

Because their fans always love to talk about the past

Britney Spears has the most toxic fans.

And for good reason; it's a catchy song

My friend and I bumped into Arnold Schwarzenegger. As fans we asked a lot of questions and ended up asking if he's going to upgrade to Windows 11...

He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"

The story of Arthur Nelson

Arthur Nelson is one of the least known pioneers of professional wrestling. He invented many of the submission holds that we still see today, and two of them bear his name: the half Nelson and the full Nelson. According to numerous sources, he also created many of the variations of the chokehold....

Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?

Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.

Why noone likes Chernobyl fans?

Because of their really toxic community.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know OnlyFans was supposed to just be a non-sexual subscription based site?

But it became LonelyFans oh so fast....

A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.

When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.

The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.

"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. W...

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot.

Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.

For all the baseball fans..

How does a Yankee fan change a lightbulb?

They don't. They just talk about how great the past 27 were.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Strippers don’t have any air conditioners in their homes

OnlyFans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stereotype confirmed

A popular ventriloquist was out on tour and one night he was performing in front of a sold-out crowd at a well-known club in New York City.
With his dummy on his knee, he started going through his signature blonde jokes, which always got a lot of laughs from his loyal fans.
Suddenly, a sexy yo...

Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans

Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.

Christians and Harry Potter fans have one thing in common.

They get mad at you when you say that their book has plotholes.

In Alabama, they're not worried about OnlyFans restricting adult content

They use OnlyFams.

Why aren't Incel's big fans off Iron-Man?

They're just not big on Fe-Males, that's all.

How many Patriots fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just talk about how good the old one was.

I think my dad is obsessed with air circulation.

I looked on his search history and it was all for "only fans." Weird.

I have a question for only fans users

Why don’t you get air conditioning instead

Got an estimate on installing a new Air Conditioner in our house for $18k…

Looks like we’re going with Only Fans this summer.

So the Irish are playing against the English in the World Cup Final, being held in Paris.

Three Irish and three English fans are waiting at the airport to get the train to the stadium.

The three English fans go up to the ticket counter and buy one ticket each. The three Irish fans go up to the counter and buy only one ticket. The English fans see this and one asks the Irish, " Ho...

Why is Only Fans so cheap in Alabama?

Family discount.

How do celebrities stay cool?

They have fans

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

George R.R. Martin (OC)

I met George R.R. Martin at a book signing a while back. It was very early in the morning and there weren’t that many people around, so I actually had the opportunity to chat with him a bit. I told him I’m a huge fan of his works, and that he’s always been an idol of mine, and that he inspired me to...

Why did Satan cross the road.

Because he saw a group of Slayer fans approaching him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know why a pop song must be 3 minutes?

Not even pop fans can listen to that crap for longer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OnlyFans’ bankers were going to pull out

If they want ‘em to stay in, looks like they’ll need to go with Plan B

What do you call fans of the moon?

Lunatics

What do OnlyFans and a long road have in common?

A u-turn.

[Old Indian Joke] Rinky :"Wow,you went on a 3 week honeymoon to Milan,Barcelona and Paris. What did you see?"

Pinky :" Ceiling fans"

Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2...

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