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Fans Jokes

I really think OSHA should make an OnlyFans account

They're some of the leading experts in NSFW content after all

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OnlyFans has just announced that it is removing all pornography on october 1st.

I suggested they change their name to LonelyFans, but i dunno

How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

A sixth grade teacher asks her class how many were Trump fans.

Despite them not knowing what a Trump fan was but wanting to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands. Well, all except for little Timmy.

The teacher looks over to little Timmy and asks, “Timmy, why are you bein...

Why don't you ever see a group of Johnny Depp fans?

They don't like Heards.

My girlfriend has made so much money since she's been on OnlyFans that I've got a new car and a set of custom golf clubs

I do worry that someone will recognize her in public and tell her she's on it though.

Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans.

Because our air conditioner broke.

And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner.

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

England fans must be pretty happy right now.

They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do the James Webb Telescope and Only Fans have in common?

They both have a great picture of Uranus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many Firefly fans does it take to change a light bulb?

They wouldn't. They'd rather spend a decade bitching about how it went out.

Female Cowboys fans

Why is it considered safe to date a girl who’s a Dallas Cowboys fan?

Because she will never expect a ring!

Good news! Now that OnlyFans is getting rid of adult content

Your local restaurants will be able to hire servers again.

I hate One Direction fans...

Oscillating ones cool down a room much better.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

Texans fan

A guy goes into a Houston bar with a Dachshund under his arm. The dog is decked out in a Texans jersey and helmet and is festooned with Texans pompoms.

The bartender says, "Hey! No pets allowed in here!"
The guy begs him, "Please we're both big Texans fans and the TV at my house is broken....

RIP Don Denkinger (for Royals and Cardinals fans)

Please put your hand over your heart for a moment of silence, and then extend both arms out to your sides, palms down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Strippers don’t have any air conditioners in their homes

OnlyFans

Dragon Ball fans are like creationists

If you talk about Evolution, they get mad.

How do French football fans like their coffee?

Au lait, au lait au lait au lait

What do OnlyFans content creators and car tyre manufacturers have in common?

They both give you load ratings

I don’t know why Jets fans are so mad at Aaron Rodgers. Saying he screwed their entire season

Obviously he’s just into four play

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a football fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they too, are football fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,

"Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?

"Because I'm not a football fan, " she replied....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe DCU fans wanted to ban Amber Heard

From their movies there seems to be no better place to shit the bed.

My OnlyFans page hasn't been very lucrative

I'm going to have to start a MostlyFans page to increase my clientele.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

Who is the most hate supporter among the Borussia Mönchengladbach football fans?

The guy who shouts out: "give me a B!!"

Why is Only Fans so cheap in Alabama?

Family discount.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For all baseball fans enjoying the 2022 Fall Classic....

Two friends have loved each other, and attended countless ballgames located all over the world, and enjoyed excellent baseball moments together

Decades passed, and one of the two buddies became terribly ill. It was time for one of the two friends to sleep peacefully for eternity.

The ...

What do the ministry of magic and Chelsea fc fans have in common?

They both find potter undesirable.

Two 95 year old men, Jack and Sam, are huge baseball fans.

One day, Jack falls seriously ill, and doesn’t have long to live. Sam visits him in the hospital to say goodbye. Sam asks him a favor before he passes.

“Hey Jack, when you get to heaven, can you see if there is baseball there? If there is, tell me.”

“I can certainly try, for my best fr...

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity

Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

I tried only fans for a bit, but...

My house was still too hot so I ended up getting a new AC system.

Having depression is like your girl having an only fans.

You might be cool with it but, you stay wondering who’s watching and what they think.

OnlyFans launched a new step sibling content adult website...

They call it OnlyFams!

What did all the Grateful Dead fans say when they ran out of dope?

This music sucks.

For all the baseball fans..

How does a Yankee fan change a lightbulb?

They don't. They just talk about how great the past 27 were.

Whats cooler than OnlyFans?

Only Air Conditioners

3 elderly football (soccer) fans walk into a church …

3 elderly football fans walk into a church. The first is a Liverpool fan, the second is a Tottenham fan and the third is an England fan. As they walk through the doors a bellowing voice greets them from above. It’s God and he exclaims “Welcome! I don’t do this often, but every now and then I like to...

Britney Spears has the most toxic fans.

And for good reason; it's a catchy song

A comedian's fan offered him a joint

Not wanting to disappoint his fans, he accepted it. He almost finished the drive to his lodging when a police officer stopped his car.

The officer asked him, "Have you been drinking?" The comedian denied doing so.

The officer then asked, "Is that marijuana I smell?"

The comedi...

Why didn't Barca fans eat anything this morning?

Because they 8-2 much last night.

Terry Pratchett fans, help me out here: Is Offler supposed to be *literally* a crocodile?

Or is it an allegory?

My friend and I bumped into Arnold Schwarzenegger. As fans we asked a lot of questions and ended up asking if he's going to upgrade to Windows 11...

He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.

The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things...

Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, 'I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.

The 2...

French Star Wars fans have something to look forward to every week....

Each Thursday is the Return of the Jeudi.

My wife asked why I had the only fans app on my phone.

I responded to fund her sisters college tuition.

How many Hillary Clinton fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Hillary Clinton fans prefer to stay in the dark.

I dont like Dream fans

I just can't stan them.

What do you say when 2 fans of Bono tell you they love you?

I love you too you two U 2 fans.

I have a question for only fans users

Why don’t you get air conditioning instead

How many Patriots fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just talk about how good the old one was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a liverpool fan, an arsenal fan and a manchester united fan were doing illegal drugs

they all got caught and were sent to jail. usually the punishment would be 5 years jail time, but the man in charge said, “it’s my wife’s birthday today, i’m in a great mood! you’ll be let go after 20 whips, and you’ll be given a wish before it” the arsenal fan goes first, he says, “please fix a pil...

A Manchester United fan, Liverpool fan and an Everton fan were caught drinking in Saudi Arabia....

An Everton fan, a Liverpool fan and a Manchester United fan were all in Saudi Arabia drinking a smuggled crate of booze.

All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.

For their punishment the Saudi Arabia Sheik decided that the punishment should be 20 lashes with a whip....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three football fans were driving along when they

saw a body in the undergrowth. Stopping their car, the three guys ran over to see what they could do. Unfortunately, they found the nude body of a deceased young woman. Being gentlemen, the first guy dropped his Chicago Bears hat over one breast. The second guy, a Tampa Bay Bucs fan, placed his hat ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know why Trump fans are called Trumpettes?

You only have to learn how to press three buttons, and then you can play 'em all day.

For the Marvel fans

Dr Strange: Knock knock
Dormammu: Who’s there?
Dr Strange: Door mom
Dormammu: Door mom who?
Dr Strange: Dormammu I have come to bargain

Why aren't Incel's big fans off Iron-Man?

They're just not big on Fe-Males, that's all.

Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans

Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.

What do you call fans of the moon?

Lunatics

I donate to a charity called OnlyFans

Because those girls can't even afford clothes!

I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan

She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.

Then I saw her place...

What do you call a Concert Hall full of Belle Delphine fans?

A Simphony.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OnlyFans’ bankers were going to pull out

If they want ‘em to stay in, looks like they’ll need to go with Plan B

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?

Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!

How do desk fans avoid Coronavirus?

They self-oscillate.

This is for any Starwars fans

Son: Dad, why is my sister name Hope?

Dad: Because, your mother always thought the world needed hope

Son: Ok, thanks dad

Dad: Your welcome Starwars Standalone Kenobi Series

Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot.

Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.

A simple joke for Starwars fans

Where do Sith lords go shopping?

The Darth Maul

Why are artists such fans of gasoline?

Because it makes their Van Gogh

what do sport fans eat from?

a SOUPer bowl

In Alabama, they're not worried about OnlyFans restricting adult content

They use OnlyFams.

My dad thought OnlyFans was a webstore that just sold air conditioning units.

I suppose you can still find something on there to spin around and blow you.

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