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Bombs Jokes

Netflix’s new live-action anime adaption “One Piece” bombs despite majority positive reviews from critics and audiences

The studio blames their poor numbers off the series glorifying piracy.

It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland

As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill -

"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"

The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it.

There is gunfire for a minute and then everything goes silent for a moment, and th...

Statistician and bomb.

Found this on Raymond Smullyan's book "To Mock a Mockingbird". Hope you might like it.


There is the story of
a statistician who told a friend that he never took airplanes: "I
have computed the probability that there will be a bomb on
the plane," he explained, "and although this p...

How does Russia knows that Ukraine has "dirty" bombs?

Because they stole all of their washing machines.

Where did Sally go when the bombs fell?

Everywhere.

A teacher asked the students a question about bombs, which left them stumped...

So, the teacher asked a new clear question.

A world famous statistician was stopped by TSA at the airport

on his way to catch a flight to Washington DC. When they opened up his bag they found a bomb in it. Subsequently he was handcuffed and taken to the station for questioning. When asked about it he said, “I always carry a bomb with me for every fight!” The investigator questioned this, saying “Why wou...

D’y’ know why Batman has all those cool doodads in his utility belt: smoke bombs, grease slicks, nose plugs/filters for poison gas, breath mints?

Because he doesn’t have pockets.

Muslim artists threw some paint bombs at a local building...

They blue it up.

I hate planting bombs now.

Everything is blown out of proportion.

An American walks into an Irish pub, he asks the bartender for an Irish Car Bomb.

The bartender grimaces, "Excuse me?"

The man smiles, "It's a drink, you don't have those? Irish car bombs?"

The bartender lights up and replies, "Oh I have something similar, one moment!"

He then takes two tall shot glasses side by side, fills them with vodka, and lights them af...

I like my coffee how I like bombs

Arabic

The odds of getting on a plane with a bomb on it are 950,000 to one -

The odds of getting on a plane with two bombs on it are closer to 700,000,000 to one So, to be safe, I always bring my own bomb.

S. W.

Why did the statistician always take a bomb with him when he traveled by plane?

He knew the chances of a bomb being on a flight he was one in a million, so he figured that the chances of two bombs being on board was one in a million million.

Did you hear about the guy selling bombs disguised as prayer mats?

Prophets were going through the roof

Back in my day we had to fly those bombs to the target. They didn't ride on these fancy rockets.

Ok bomber.

Did you hear about the two atomic bombs that got into an argument?

They had a fallout.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hope NK doesn't name their bombs after their leader...

We've already seen what one Fat Man can do to Japan.

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a terrorist bombing it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

Yesterday was my first day on the job defusing bombs, and I had to cut some wires

Turns out, I’m colorblind

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bombs and Berries (Long) (Original)

Back Story: During World War 2, it was super cold in Nazi Germany. The American troops were told if they were ever in a rough situation, to look for frozen squirrels at the base of trees. Then place the frozen squirrel between their thighs (the warmest part of the body) to warm it up. The squirls wo...

Did you hear about the terrorist who strapped bombs loaded with Coronavirus to his chest?

He blew up and went viral.

ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup

If any go off, it could spell disaster

Dogs are great at sniffing out bombs but terrible at defusing them.

They always end up cutting the grey wire.

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