It is 1939 and a Soviet army is marching on Finland
As they pass the border, they hear a Finnish voice over the hill -
"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"
The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it.
There is gunfire for a minute and then everything goes silent for a moment, and th...
An American walks into an Irish pub, he asks the bartender for an Irish Car Bomb.
The bartender grimaces, "Excuse me?"
The man smiles, "It's a drink, you don't have those? Irish car bombs?"
The bartender lights up and replies, "Oh I have something similar, one moment!"
He then takes two tall shot glasses side by side, fills them with vodka, and lights them af...
The chances of a bomb being on your plane is one in 300 million, but the chances of two bombs being on your plane is one in 60 billion...
which is why, when I fly, I always carry a bomb.
Yesterday was my first day on the job defusing bombs, and I had to cut some wires
Turns out, I’m colorblind
Library of Congress bomber…
Yesterday’s attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :
-the Richmond Mall’s Supreme Food Court
-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave
I always bring a bomb with me on an airplane
Because the probability of there being *two* bombs on an airplane is nearly zero.
A mathematician is going through security check at an airport
When it’s his turn one officer suddenly starts jumping around exited and yells: “There is a bomb in this man luggage!” The mathematician is immediately arrested, searched and confined in a separate room. A while later authorities come in and ask him what the hell he was thinking, to which the mathem...
Did you hear about the two atomic bombs that got into an argument?
They had a fallout.
My dad worked for years as an actuary.
Back in the 1970s he travelled a lot for his work. This was during the time when hijackings, bombings and stuff like that weren’t too uncommon.
Being a statistician, he sat down one day and calculated the odds that a bomb would be on a plane that he was on. Turns out, he didn’t like the odd...
Did you hear about the terrorist who strapped bombs loaded with Coronavirus to his chest?
He blew up and went viral.
I like my coffee how I like bombs
Did you hear about the guy selling bombs disguised as prayer mats?
Prophets were going through the roof
The odds of getting on a plane with a bomb on it are 950,000 to one -
The odds of getting on a plane with two bombs on it are closer to 700,000,000 to one So, to be safe, I always bring my own bomb.
I make bombs for a living
Business is booming
A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a terrorist bombing it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage
"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.