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Errors Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Please ignore the English errors. It's my fourth language.

Genie: I see you're short. Would you like to increase your height?

Me: Yes, please! I would give anything to increase my height.

Genie: Alright then, for every inch I increase your height, I'll reduce an inch of your penis. So, by how much do you want to increase your height?

Me...

I hate spelling errors

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined

Errors are red, the screen is in blue

I think you just deleted system32

Contrary to belief, Wikipedia actually has less factual errors than traditional printed encyclopaedias.

Source: Wikipedia

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.

There are 11 types of errors when programming directly in binary...

Syntax errors,

Memory management errors,

Math errors, and

Off-by-one errors.

.
.

A guy makes spelling errors so often it's in his blood.

He's typo.

The errors 404 and 403 went to vote, 404 voted for Trump.

403 forbidden.

I get so angry with all the spelling errors on Reddit

I feel like people are defiantly doing it on purpose just to mess with me

Men should thank God for His grammatical errors when creating us

He forgot a period.



(Edit: Woo original content!)

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

Oh and weird concurrency bugs.

A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors.

They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted.

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

If you’re genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you’re…

…typo positive?

First grade teacher: John, how did you manage to stop having spelling errors in your homework this week?

John: My mom is out of town.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having sex in a bunch of python compilation errors

It's fucking *indents*

A man is stuck in a traffic jam

A man is struck in a traffic jam

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. 

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" 

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians, and they are asking for a 1 million crore rupees ransom. 

Otherwise, they are gong to...

My buddy just saw the Chernobyl documentary. As someone that grew up there he said it was really inaccurate.

He was able to count 6 errors on one hand.

Well away from the muffins...

My aunt Sara is someone who has an excellent sense of humor. In a nutshell, my aunt is a lady in her sixties who uses the fact that she loves cakes and is overweight... to make fun of herself. One of the most delightful conversations i had with her was when i met her at the bus stop one day and she ...

A robbery

A gypsy fortune-teller once told me:

"For 20 euros i can see your life in the palm of your hand"

I replied:

"That's a robbery! My mother goes to the hairdresser in my neighborhood, and for 10 euros she tells her everyone's life"


Note: The translation was made from ...

One for the software devs

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:

1. Garbage collection
2. Naming things
3. Off-by-one errors

There are 2.00000001 types of programmers in the world

Those who experience off-by-one errors, and those who experience rounding errors.

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