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Incorrect Jokes

I hate it when people use "you're" and "your" incorrectly

There so dumb

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Incorrect usage of the word 'Fuckin'

Bob had broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick - How you doing?

Bob - Fine. Hey will you do me a favor... go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are fuckin freezin.

Mick goes up and sees Bob's hot 21 year old twin sisters lying on the bed.

He t...

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Not for the easily offended - my favourite politically incorrect joke...

Man is walking through park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying.
"What's wrong?" man asks.
"Never been kissed before" girl says.
Man kisses her and she goes home happy.

Next day man walking through same park. Sees girl in wheelchair again crying.
"What's wrong?...

How do you begin a politically incorrect joke?

President Ben Franklin walks into a bar...

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What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt

My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride

Unbelievable!

One word of this title is incorrect.

And when you've realized it, you'll agree that it's not right at all.

And then you'll give this post an angry upvote.

Thanks.

I changed my password to "incorrect”.

So whenever I forget what my password is, the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

Did you know it's now politically incorrect to say 'black paint'?

Now you have to say "Jerome can you please paint the fence".

My computer password in Incorrect

That way, if I type in a different password, it reminds me ‘Your password is incorrect’

And then I remember

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My wife hates it when I quote old movies incorrectly

But frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit!

I’m giving up drinking, for a month.

*(oops, incorrect punctuation)*

I’m giving up. Drinking for a month.

What word do people almost always pronounce incorrectly?

Incorrectly

An OverweightTime Traveler goes to ancient rome

An Overweight Time Traveler goes to ancient rome and realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip. Realizing his mistake he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He goes to the counter and asks ...

PSA: the term “Hipsters” is politically incorrect and is considered an offensive slur in many circles

Please use the medically-recommended term “conjoined twins” instead.

Is this the right place for politically incorrect jokes?

I have this great one about President Benjamin Franklin.

Is there some way to describe reading Braille incorrectly?

The words are right on the tip of my tongue.

Incorrectly pronounced French jokes?

Oh please, so quiche

A politically incorrect joke about language

Investors want to make a holiday resort on an uninhabited island. They hire 3 experts to get life going there.

To the Frenchman they say, "you are in charge of cuisine".

To the German they say, "you are in charge of accommodation".

To the Finn they say, "you are in charge of su...

Everyone says “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” is a incorrect statement

But I’m starting to think people just aren’t as good at throwing as I am.

The only way to spell incorrectly correctly

Is to spell it incorrectly.

People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.

Well, I beg to differ.

The news says when it comes to fighting covid, we are in the endgame now, but that is incorrect....

Turns out it's actually an infinity war

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I'm sick of the incorrect assumption that us rednecks are always fucking our sisters

Mine hasn't put out in 6 months

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Why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft?

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more...

I just realized I have been using the phrase “sunk cost fallacy” incorrectly all my life.

Oh well, it’s too late to do anything now.

What happens when you play the drums incorrectly?

You get repercussions

This world is so politically incorrect we can't even say 'black paint.'

We have to say "Tyrone, would you please paint that wall?"

What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse?

An horse.

I was just fired for making an incorrect sandwich

Whoops, wrong sub

What did Google say to the politically incorrect employee?

I can help you search for a new job.

What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?

They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.


(Edit)
Thank you for the awards.



As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't ...

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs

Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

My friend showed me a joke that really effected me because it used words incorrectly.

It ruined the jokes affect.

What do you call it when Ant-Man makes a politically incorrect joke?

A microaggression.

The clinic asked me why I had written an incorrect blood type on my form

I told them it was Typo

Why do left handed people always write incorrectly?

Their right hand has nothing left and their left hand has nothing right.

I've been spending a lot of time trying to come up with a way to wear my mask incorrectly.

I feel like the answer has been right under my nose this whole time.

(Edit: i actually think it would actually be worded better as "i finally found a way to wear my mask incorrectly")

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What is the raunchiest, most politically incorrect joke you have ever heard?

What's the hardest part about fucking a bald pussy?

Putting the diaper back on.

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I hate when people incorrectly categorize Mozart as a classical composer...

Even though he lived during the Classical Era, he was Baroque as fuck.

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled

I n c o r r e c t l y

Vladimir Putin making a school visit...

Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, Little Alina put...

I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.

A man bids on a rare antique, item 23 in the catalogue, upon which he is incorrectly named the winner of the auction; the error is fixed five seconds later

Won two three for five secs.

give me an example of a tragedy?

Tony Abbott was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in
the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Abbott if he would like to lead the discussion on
the word 'Tragedy'.
So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a '...

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After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

An old Minnesota farmer found out the Minnesota and Iowa state border had been surveyed incorrectly.

When they told him his house was actually in Iowa by 10 feet He said, "Thank god. No more Minnesota Winters!"

A Joke I made up when I was 7 years old (It's politically incorrect)

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

How to spot a non-native English speaker on Reddit.

Title: Detecting Non-Native English Speakers on Reddit: Unveiling Language Clues

Introduction:
In the vast realm of online platforms like Reddit, where people from various corners of the world come together to exchange ideas, it's not uncommon to encounter non-native English speakers. This...

Going to prove Occam’s Razor

by deliberately posting incorrect information.

I was talking to a girl about the establishment of the 4th Reich when a girl told me that I was being politically incorrect

Apparently the proper term is "European Union"

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A jew and an American are on a train together. (Sorry for a possibly incorrect or missing flair, I can't flair for some reason)

The American has lots of food. Burgers as the main course, coca cola as the drink, and Twinkies for dessert. The jew has very little food, just some dried fish.



The jew tells the American: "You should give me your burgers and other food in exchange for my fish. It contains phosphorus ...

The ground trembles with my every step.

I have installed the floorboards incorrectly.

I used to date my english teacher

but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon

Having touble getting into my computer...

Enter Password: "FootLoose"
...

Wrong, Try again: "DangerZone"
...

Wrong, you are locked out! You are only allowed 2 incorrect Loggins.

An elementary school teacher is asking a student a Maths question

Teacher: "Ok, Jimmy. If I gave you two cats and another two cats, how many cats would you have?"

Jimmy: "Five!"

Teacher: "No, Jimmy. Let me ask you another way. If I give you two apples and I give you another two apples, how many apples would you have?"

Jimmy: "Four!"

Tea...

A beautiful blonde woman ends up sitting next to a professor on a plane.

He's amused by her ditzy attitude, and the two start playing a trivia game. The blonde agrees to pay a dollar for every question she gets wrong, and the professor, feeling pompous, offers to pay a hundred dollars for his incorrect answers.

After missing the first question, the blonde asks so...

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.


The woman ignores him.


*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*


The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the ...

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Square Enix, Ubisoft, EA and Valve are all in class.

They're all taking a quiz. The teacher tells them that'll have 60 minutes to complete the quiz and that they'll be graded immediately. An hour later, the teacher collects their test sheets and begins grading.

Square Enix answered every question correctly, even the extra credit essay question...

What would you do I if told you

that you read the title incorrectly.

Senior Computer Security?

Senior Computer Security?

My memory is going Mildred, so I changed my password to “Incorrect.” That way when I log in with the wrong password, the computer will tell me… “Your password is incorrect”.

In some languages, a double negative carries the negation through to its target. So in "I don't have no pencil," the "no" in "no pencil" indicates what I don't have. In others, while incorrect, a double negative is a positive. But, there is no known language where a double positive is a negative.

Yeah, right.

Followed the instructions for my password but they didn’t work

It said, “Type Password”

So I entered, “Password”

Then it told me, “Your Password is Incorrect”

So I entered, “Incorrect”

To which it said, “Try Again”

So I typed, “Again”

But now for some reason I can’t do anything because it thinks my account name is “Lock...

Christmas elves

An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."

Did you know?

According to Ohm's law, the best way to get an answer is to post an incorrect answer online, and someone will eventually correct you.

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Damn Little Johnny

Little Johnny was sitting in class on a Thursday and the teacher made an announcement. She said that she was going to start asking one question every Thursday and if anyone got the correct answer school on Friday would be dismissed. So the first question was...How much does the earth weigh? Little v...

Two Russian guys met on the street

They greeted each other and chatted about their family, then the subject moved on to work.
One of them asked the other, "where do you work now?"
The other answered, "I work in the administrative office at Moscow."
"That must be nice, what is your duty exactly?"
"I dismiss incorrect cri...

What is the English word for when a person takes his own life?

Suicide?

No that is incorrect.

How can that be wrong?

Remember, suicide is never the answer.

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