Confusion Jokes

There would be mass confusion.

An English, a Pakistani, and an Irish couple all simultaneously arrive at a hospital, all of the wives in the couple going into labour at approximately the same time. All of the babies were delivered healthily after fairly routine births but unfortunately, after placing the babies in their cradles, ... read more

Fathers Day in Detroit

State of Despair. / State of Confusion. / State of Poverty.

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continue to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "... read more

The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.

The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he wa... read more

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a ... read more

The Wolf wanted to gift the King lamb, the fox had a chicken, the leopard an antilope, and so on...The lion greeted all of his guests and welcomed them to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit stood infront of him with a carrot. All guests went silent. The lion looked him in the eyes and said: " You know... read more

He starts it to polish it off and 'Poof', a genie appears in a cloud of smoke.

"Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."

The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-... read more

Grandpa said, " Junior, I will give you $10 if you can put that worm back down in its little hole."

The kids thinks and thinks, then runs into the house and returns with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm all over and as it gets stiff he stuffs it down into the hole. Grandpa gives th... read more

Two blondes wait at a bus stop.

A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver says, "No, I'm sorry."

The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about me?"

She replied, “Approximately 0.3583679495453”.

I stared at her, confused. Seeing my confusion, she added, “You know, cos (789)”

But, it never got a laugh. Just these looks of mass confusion.

The pharmacist said a three pack was four-ninety-nine.

So the teen takes a five dollar bill from his wallet and puts it on the counter.

The pharmacist said "that'll be five dollars and thirty-five cents."

"But you said it was four-ninety-nine!"

"There's also tax."

... read more

When I got ready to pay for my breakfast, the cashier said "Strip down, facing me". I did just that. When the shrieking had died down, I found out she was referring to my debit card.

A young journalist walked up to a track and field athlete who was warming up for his event to get an interview.

Not entirely sure of the athlete's discipline he asks, "Are you a polevaulter?"

The athlete replied, "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"

The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”

My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”

The photographer interrupted me: “I meant him.”

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie." The first man asks "Can I make a wi... read more

Father's day in Harlem