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Electrocuted Jokes

I just got electrocuted

It hertz

My Dad was in the hospital from being electrocuted

When he left he was discharged

A train conductor kills 2 people and is sentenced to the electric chair...

A train conductor ends up killing two people while on the job. He is found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. When the day comes, he is asked what he would want for his last meal, and he requests a banana. After finishing his meal, he is strapped to the chair and electrocuted. However, by s...

Did you hear what happened to the kid who kept getting electrocuted?..

His dad finally grounded him


.

I just electrocuted myself

How do you current-ly feel?

I'm kind of shocked

Watt, I didn't hear you

I said it hertz a lot

I have always loved getting electrocuted

Some things you just can't let go

A child died electrocuted

The parents are in shock

How do System of a Down stop their vocalist being electrocuted on stage?

A Serj Protector

A man was found electrocuted, with only a car battery in the room.

Police are still looking for leads.

What did the electrician say when he electrocuted himself?

That Hertz!

Why was the stock trader electrocuted?

He shorted Tesla

You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do?

Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.



First word in title should be "your"

A criminal was trying to hot-wire a car and accidentally electrocuted himself.

He got charged with battery.

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.

It was a turtle disaster.

My music teacher got electrocuted yesterday

Unfortunately he was a great conductor.

My pet rabbit was an enlightened thinker but was electrocuted.

Now, he's a Volt-Hare

What a horrible way to die

Two guys meet up in a bar.

The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb,...

Why did the F1 Racer get electrocuted after finishing 1 lap?

Because he completed the circuit.

I was electrocuted by the Playstation controller.

I was shocked twice.

Can you be electrocuted by a news story?

The answer may shock you.

An electric engineer electrocuted by accident.

he had injuries of 60 hurts

An electrician was working at an apartment when he got electrocuted.

He died before he even knew watts up.

What do you call a cow that can’t be electrocuted?

Ground Beef.

What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted?

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

A Cuban man dies and goes to Hell

There, the devil informs him that every country has its own hell. However, as he had dual citizenship, he could choose which Hell he wanted to be sent: American Hell or Cuban Hell.

He visits the American Hell first. At the door, he finds George Bush Senior.

“Excuse me, mr president, ...

Did you hear about the chef that got electrocuted?

He stood on a bun and a currant shot up his leg.

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded!


(I'll see myself out)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 signs that you had one glass too many

1. All girls look beautiful. It doesn't matter if they have beards.

2. You can't use your fork because it has 1 tine and 4 handles.

3. Lights are out in the restroom. But it smells nice, and they have clothes hanging instead of toilet paper.

4. Someone called you an asshole. But...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a farmer who had two sons.

His wife died as soon as she gave birth to the second son. Because of this, the farmer always blamed his second son for his mother's death. But he did not fail in his responsibilities as a father. The farmer was poor but he worked really hard to get his two sons in grad school. They didn't do well e...

Netflix has asked viewers to please stop referring to Ted Bundy as "Hot"

As he was electrocuted in 1989, they are fairly certain he has cooled off by now.

I promised my wife the earth today…

But I gave her the live instead and electrocuted her…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once a dictator chose a musician to compose a piece of music.

The musician not wanting to displease the dictator accepted the offer.

One month after the day came. The orchestra shited in the name of music. The dictator got furious and gave him a death sentence. They gave him a spicy curry as his last wish. He sat on the electric chair. They electrocuted...

LPT: Now that it is summer time, avoid swimming in waters that have strong currents, it is very dangerous..

.. you risk getting electrocuted.

A college girl was found dead in her bathtub...

She decided to take a bath after a long day of testing. Unbeknownst to her, her roommate had a fetish of putting a 9-volt battery in the bath to give herself a small electric shock.

This time, however, she left it in the tub. The college girl decided she wanted to put some soothing bath salts...

A priest, a Teacher, and an Engineer.

3 of them are best friends and one weekend they decided to go to town to have a drink and inadvertently got drunk to a point of blacking out. Upon waking up they found themselves arrested, guiltily charged of a crime and sentenced to death by electrocution. The priest is strapped to the chair
...

T'was a wet and rainy Christmas eve...

...when santa landed on our roof.

The slippery condition were quite treacherous,

as a reindeer missed its hoof.

Santa and his reindeers came sliding down.

I would've laffed if it was a clown.

One by one, they got tangled in the lights,

and came crashing down...

Three friends talking about their dogs.

So there were three friends talking about the intelligence of their dogs, to which one says:

My shepherd dog not only took care of my sheep when I left but also sheared them once a year.

The next says:
Ha! Mine was so smart that all he left to do was to bark.

The third sobbin...

An electrical engineer is at his grandpa's funeral

His parents never told him how his grandpa had passed, so he walks around the funeral party asking for clues.
"He was at the gym" said one friend, but grandpa had a strong body and heart thought the grandson.
"It was in the bathroom," said a cousin quietly, but he would say no more.
"It was...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Juan was sent to hell.

In the hell lobby, Juan is greeted by a demon. The demon showed 3 doors that contains the type of punishment Juan will receive. Of course, Juan is given the ability to choose his punishment.

The demon opened the 1st door. Juan saw a man being punished by a whip. Juan said: "No! I do not want ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...

This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medi...

Russian Conductor

(TL;DR at bottom, it's a long joke)

So a Russian train engineer is barreling down a track, and doesn't slow down for three people crossing, killing them instantly. He gets the electric chair as punishment. For what should be his last meal, he asks for a banana. He gets his request, and is ele...

Chaos Theory

Two friends are chatting in a pub.

- Have you heard that Mike died yesterday?

-- Oh no! What happened to him?

- He was about to pass our house driving his car when he crashed into a parking car on the side of the road, broke through the wind shield, flown through straight in our...

Once there was this cruel maestro.....

He was very cruel and bad. Once as he was backing up his car, he rode over a little girl, killing her, but he didn't care. He was caught and sentenced to death by the electric chair. He was seated in the chair, the switch flipped, he was electrocuted, but amazingly he didn't die. So he was let to li...

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