A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest.

"No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".

What do you call a disoriented lycanthrope?

A where wolf

An American tourist is hit by a car in downtown Sydney, AU.

He is in a coma for 24 hours. When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented.

"Did I come here to die?" he asks.

The nurse replies, "No, love, you came here yestadie!"

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A man sitting at a bar orders a bottle of whiskey

He then starts taking long sips from the bottle until it's empty. An hour later he decides he's too drunk and he needs to go back home to his wife. He makes an attempt to stand up but fails miserably, throwing himself on the floor.

The bartender helps him back on his chair and tells him to wa...

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

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My brother was dating a Japanese woman for a while but was dumped today.

You could say that he was disoriented

Peter is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye

It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 ...

A man was offroading in the desert.

He was driving over the dunes and past the shrubs and bushes that dotted the landscape, when a sandstorm started blowing over. He figured he'd be fine, but the sand made his engine lock up.

After it had passed, he went out in search for help. The storm disoriented him and blew away his car tr...

A boy wants to ring a giant bell...

As a boy is walking down the street, he spots a bell tower. Seeing the bell, he makes his way to the very top of the tower. When he gets to the top, he finds a priest, just standing there.

The boy asked the priest "Is it okay if I ring the bell, Father?"

The priest replied "By all mea...

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An Australian walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm

An Australian walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.

He tells the bartender, “If I put my penis into this crocodile’s mouth for 15 seconds without it being bitten off, you’ll give me free drinks for the night.”

The bartender agrees, so the guy opens the crocodile’s mouth and...

My friend just became an American citizen, but he was forced to give up his Chinese citizenship.

It’s been a real disorienting experience for him.

I just got back from Asia...

And now I’m disoriented.

One of my old theater director’s favorites

In an old, medieval village, there was a church, with a high bell tower. The bell hadn’t been rung in many a long year.

One day, a man with no arms finds the priest of the church and says, “Father, I’d like to be your official bell ringer.”

Confused, the priest responds “But how can y...

A man wakes up one morning to find that he's grown a thick beard and is wearing a turban....

He, being very concerned and disoriented, calls his boss in order to see if he can get the day off.

Man: "Boss, I just woke up with a turban and a long, thick beard. I think I need a day to figure things out."

Boss: " So what are you saying....?"

Man: "I'm calling in Sikh."

What do you call a white person with Asian heritage?

Disoriented.

If you spun an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become _disoriented?_

Sisters of Mercy

A guy is driving down the highway late at night, when he sees a sign that said, "Sisters of mercy: House of prostitution" 3 miles. Thinking he must be tired and seeing things, he gives it no more thought.

Further down the road he sees another sign that said, "Sisters of Mercy: House of Prost...

What happens to Asians when they become American citizens?

They get very disoriented.

Whole Arm

So I’m fingering this fat girl and she's so sloppy, I start using two fingers. She says she barely feels it and says to stick my whole hand in. I told her no, that I didnt want to hurt her, but she insisted so I did. She moaned and demanded more! Amazed, l slid my whole arm up inside her and she moa...

How do you get the Asian out of a China man?

Spin him around until he's disoriented.

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Two hunters went hunting for deer...

Bob and Jim went hunting for deer one day.

As polite hunters always do, they stopped by the farmhouse to ask the farmer for permission to hunt. The farmer agreed to let the two hunt, but warned them that he had a very large farm and it would be easy to become disoriented and lost.

The ...

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[NSFW] So a man walks into a pub. There is a jar of money on the bar...

He asks the bartender "what's with the jar of money?" The bartender tells him there is a few tasks, and if he can complete them, he can have all the money in it. Without hesitation, the man asks what those tasks are.

The bartender says "First, you must drink this entire bottle of vodka straig...

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They kicked me out of Japan

I was disoriented.

Bob and Jim go hunting.

After spending several hours wandering through the woods, they become thoroughly lost in the wilderness. Disoriented, they sit down to discuss what to do next.

"Hey, I have and idea," says Bob. "If we each fire three shots into the air, someone will hear them and come to help us." So each ...

A boy breaks his arm and his dad takes him to the hospital.

The son gets a cast and heals up just fine after several weeks. He goes up to his father after he gets his cast off and says, "Dad, I'm healed!"

"Hi Healed, I'm Dad."

The son laughs and thinks his dad is the funniest ever.

A year later, the boy falls on his face and chips a toot...

Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven…

St. Peter: It is probably a bit disorienting, but there are a lot of people here you will want to meet.

Chris: Like who?

St. Peter: Well, right over there are Janis, Jimi, Kurt, Prince, and David Bowie for starters.

Chris: Oh no, is that Bono over there with them? I d...

Did you hear about the Chinese guy who moved to America and turned white?

He was really disoriented.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It had been crossing so long it could not remember. As it stopped in the middle to look back, a car sped by, spinning it around. Disoriented, the chicken realized it could no longer tell which way it was going. It stands there still.

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A man, Tony, breaks up with his girlfriend...

...and decides the best way to get over her is to go to the bar and pick up a new chick for the night. He buys drinks for all the ladies and none of them show interest. At the end of the night the bartender makes the last call and Tony, disappointed, makes his way out the back to head home. As the d...

Asians aren't bad drivers.

They're just disoriented.

A man is tanning at a nudist beach...

And a young girl who was playing with the seagulls ran up to him. Pointing to his nether regions she asked what that was and why lots of the people have them. The man not wanting to explain the reproductive system to some little girl said that it is his pet bird, pointing to his genitalia he said th...

What happens if you spin an oriental person around really fast for an extended period of time?

They become disoriented.

How does an Asian feel after they have been insulted?

Disoriented -.-

I hate flying back from China

It's really disorienting.

What do you call a guy from China who is confused?

Disoriented.

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